Memories and Thoughts from a man

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Memories and Thoughts from a man
1
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 1:20pm

sorry if I repeat my history each time. but i suspect it helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 1:37pm

Jimmy,

Hugs to you- you sound like you are in pain. I am new to NC too- but I'm holding me own :)

My situation is different from yours..... but, I can say that I know what you are talking about with the fond memories. There are some moments I think about with exap that make me smile....and I think that is ok. AS LONG AS i do NOT use those memories as an excuse to restart the A. AND I must be very careful to remember all the bad memories as well- and for me, the bad eventually far outweighed the good. Now that the fog is lifting (just a bit) I can see the reality of the situation. I created a fantasy in my head, and it wasn't real life or real love. I think I can keep those few nice memories, as long as I remember the truth of the situation.

I don't know if that makes any sense. Part of getting over the A, i think, is somehow letting go.... to have those nice memories, but to just let them be. Don't force yourself to cling to them too hard, or to block them either.

Hazel