Milestone....and Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
Milestone....and Question
4
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 10:57pm

So..I made the move to my new house

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 11:53pm

Hi Dab,


I also felt that hate (jam is a swindler) but i have read that that feeling serves as a chain that will

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 1:09am

Edited to add something of great importance: Congrats on 90 days of NC...that his huge!!!


Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 2:27pm

Hi Dab- First, congrats on your NC success. It really is a miracle worker isn't it? Nothing compares to the healing power of NC.


You've gotten great feedback. Anger, resentment... those are natural stages of this journey, but you have to work to get past them. OUr ultimate goal is indifference... and to get there, you have to forgive. I've been struggling with that for months. Sometimes I hate xap so much and I wish he would suffer as I have suffered, but other times I am able to wish him well in my head and move on. The key is to forgive, which means coming to terms with what happened and then letting it go.


Good luck to you.


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 2:59pm

I'm glad you got moved! How exciting - I love new surroundings.

You don't really want him to suffer. It's just some residual feelings of what he put you through talking. I feel that way sometimes too - but then I am very quick to forgive - which is why I think I got stuck with JAM for 7.5 years.

Just think of your feelings - good and bad - coming back at you like a boomerang, because they do. I believe in karma :)

This is what I have by my computer right now:

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

Have a good weekend settling into your new home!

Bodhi