Missing him pain vs D day ain
Find a Conversation
Missing him pain vs D day ain
| Thu, 11-18-2010 - 4:57pm |
So many people are missing their ex AP's this week here, that I started to fall back there myself.
| Thu, 11-18-2010 - 4:57pm |
So many people are missing their ex AP's this week here, that I started to fall back there myself.
Thanks Melinda for the kick-in-the butt reminder that Dday was just a breath away!
Think I'll head on over to the d day threads as you suggested, and do some gleening.
(((Melinda)))
I am glad you snapped out of it. I am also glad you started this thread so I don't have to BLOW MY WHISTLE LOUDLY in a new discussion about this missing XAP malarkey. Here's the deal everyone.....
The holidays are upon us. I have seen these cycles occur every year, after being on this board for 6 years now, and this is the time of year many enders get all mushy and sentimental...BUT, you are projecting those nostalgic feelings in the wrong direction and on the wrong person. If memory serves me correct, it was the HOLIDAYS where most of us had little or NO contact from our darling XAPs because they were busy with their families, company parties, mini vacations, festivities, a/k/a Their Real LIfe. :smileytongue:
Okay, I had to get that out of the way. Now...on to another matter..... Writing about how you are missing XAP is not what the newbies need to read on here. Oh yeah, I guess most of you ARE newbies writing about this stuff...So STOP it. :smileywink:
Melinda, it was smart of you to read the "D-Day" thread. Reality takes a back seat when we are in La La Land, but now that you are on a new path...It would serve you all wisely to let reality BACK in. Remember, a D-Day can occur at any time, even when you have pulled the plug..So let's get proactive..productive..and protected by getting our minds out of yesterday...and focusing on the present. The future can wait. You have to take care of you right now.
With that said, hang in their enders. There are always going to be bad days. On the flip side...there are going to be some good days too, but you have to get your head out of the clouds and your feet back on the ground.
(((Hugs)))
Hi Melinda
I'm in Day 3 of NC, i have spent the last 2 days reading about DDay pain, this is helping me considerably. I know i'm one that needs to read about the
Iddy,
Im GLAD you wrote this. Especially as it pertains to MISSING.
Frankly as such a newbie - I can't read ANYTHING that glorifies missing him.
Yes - everything that has been said.
The pain of a Dday is beyond what you can imagine. It's indescribable, it boarders on un-survivable. I would surely have taken my own life under the weight of the pain I have caused to my children, my H, my family and xAPs wife & children.
If it wasn't for the full on complete knowledge that hurting myself would DESTROY any hope that my loved ones will one day recover from the hurts I have caused ... I dunno.
NO, my obligation is to see this pain through, embrace it for what it has to teach me, and use any and all reminders of the immense nightmare I have created in the lives of many as incentive to never ever make such selfish, destructive choices again ...
No one here can afford to miss xAP - it's selfish, delusional, distorted, self-harming thinking that should send off RED FLAGS that *you* are still fogged in. It should scare the shiz outta *you* and send you running to counseling. When thoughts of missing seep in - think to yourself "okay - that's how my unwellness is showing up" It has nothing to do with xAP and everything to do with something going on inside you/me.
TU.
Thanks everyone!!
CL-Iddy
TU puts her points so eloquently....
It is now 6 weeks since my dDay, and as my previous threads detailed early on, it is painful, terrifying, you go into unchartered territory. My H STILL cannot come to grips/terms with what i did, the lies, the deceit, the sordidness of it all. an in his eyes
New Choices, New Chapter,
New Challenges,
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
NC,
WOW what a sobering post!