MM and W want custody of our baby

Avatar for jessi92346
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2004
MM and W want custody of our baby
3
Sun, 05-15-2005 - 2:55pm
hi, im new here, but it seems like a good place for support. my story is long, but i'll summerize.
im a 21 year old with a 16 month old. i got pregnant by a married man who is 43. for the past 16 monhts, anny, my baby, has been his little secret. we've been seeing each other since i was 18. well this past month, i asked him to sign a declaration of paternity so i could establish parental custody of her. he freaked out and said no. i really didnt think it would be a problem since we disscussed what would happen in the future. i knew he would never leave his wife and would always keep amy from his family. we agreed that he would not be involved in her life in the future.
i guess when i wanted everything legal, he thoiught i would tell his wife so he told her before she found out. i guess shes okay with him having another kid. now he wants her, and is taking me to court. when he told me this, i got dunk and mad and went to his house and keyed his car up and honked my horn until the nieghbors came out he put a restraining order on me. i can understand that, i wasn't in control of my emotions and i know i scared his family.
but now he said he is more "established"and will be able to get whatever he wants. im so afraid. i dont want her in his home. what if the W is mean to her what if she takes out her anger of the affair on her. why would she be ok with raising another womans child. they have 3 older kids already. he said he loves anny and would never put her in a place where she wasnt loved. i dont know what to do. he said hes going to make me look bad in court. we've never had a paternity test. i had a one night stand around the time i became pregnant. what if the baby isn't his? i told him of this a while ago. but he said he knows the babys his and continued to pay child support to me. hesaid now, if the baby isnt his, he will go after me for extorion. he said either way, he'll keep amy away from me because of the pain i have caused his family. i feel abandoned by him, he said he loved me and we had grown so close. how could he turn on me so fast. i question everything hes ever said. can he really do all hes saying he can. i can't afford a lawyer. what do i do??
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
Sun, 05-15-2005 - 4:25pm

(((Jesse)))


Do you have a decent job?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2005
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 11:17am
Whoa! that is some situation you're in hon. My first reaction when I read your post was..there's no way in hell I'd let that jerk take MY baby away! I mean,after all he wanted nothing to do with her as long as the wife didn't know,right? Now he and the W want to take her from you??? That's insane! You really need an attorney,at least consult with one to find out where you stand. I don't know where you live,but if you havn't had a paternity test yet, that could be to your advantage.In the meantime,stay away from him..keep a clear head and do what's best for you and your baby.Again,please,consult an attorney..you don't want to risk losing your child.Good luck to you,and keep us updated!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 4:57pm

You can't afford NOT to go to an attorney.
This is your CHILD you are talking about.

Phone a local women's support group of any kind -
Look in the yellow pages for a Women's Health & Advisory group,
or try Planned Parenthood if you can't think of anyone else -
it may take a bit of phoning around, but you'll find a lawyer who is willing
to help you and you'll find a way to afford it.

Do it now, and best wishes to you -
- L.