Mondays suck!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mondays suck!!!!
2
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 9:08pm
Well since the weekend passed, I thought for sure he would be trying to contact me today but he hasn't. I know, I know, that's a good thing. I told him not to and he is respecting that. However, I guess deep down I just want to know if he is struggling with this as much as I am. I just got home from work and there is a message on my machine from his W,(my friend). All it says is that she needs a stiff drink, and then she hung up. As much as I would like to think it's because they're arguing, I know it's cuz their little girl goes in for surgery tomorrow and she's stressed over it. I don't remember who told me to just send balloons, instead of going over to their house, but I took your advice and did that. I will not have to see him. NOW, my question is, should I call her to wish her well with the surgery tomorrow? Or should I just ignore the message she left me? If I call her, I will call her cell phone so I have no chance of him answering the phone. Need advice on that asap, it's getting late. Thank you all!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
In reply to: pal1214
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 11:04pm
Well I made a stupid mistake. I called her on her cell phone, told her to tell their dd that I was thinking about her and to wish them well tomorrow for the surgery. And now I've been crying for an hour and a half. Why? all because she said " Well my husband and I are talking again so that's good news." How am I supposed to be happy for them? I know I'm a horrible selfish person, but I'm just not happy for them. I think it would be best if I could keep NC with her too. I just don't know how without her being suspicious, or wondering why I don't want to talk to her anymore. She kept telling me that I sounded "down" , and I was actually trying to sound happy incase he was next to her. (Thankfully he was in the garage.)I can't do it!! I don't know how to do this. I should be feeling beter by now!! It was only 3 months for godsake. And Saturday I have a party that I booked off one of her parties a month ago, so she'll be there. I can't face her. I wish he would just tell her about the A so she would hate me!!!! I CAN'T DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2004
In reply to: pal1214
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 11:25pm
Pal,

I just read your post cause I have been crying over NOT taking his call tho I know it was best. You can do this. I know its hard Gawd you could have be copying my thoughts right out of my head. I am not friends with his W but she knows about me an the affair actually her an I were friends just not good ones only social ones.He is suffering in some way you took away his crutch an he has to stand on his own. I know all to well about NOT wanting them to be happy. An feeling selfish I told him that on the phone today that I knew I was being selfish but I had to an so do you an its OK its YOUR heart YOU are protecting an there is NOTHING wrong with that.We have to keep telling ourselves we made the right choices for the right reasons an begin to beleive it.. I had a very close an dear friend who had been an instructor an mentor for me tell me this ." Act as if until you can" for a long time I wasnt sure what she meant then I started to use that In my professional an now my personal life funny thing .. she got that phrase from her ALANON class she was trying to cope with life with an addict.SO I say we act as if we can go on untill we can an WE WILL..

Huggs,

Krm