More than one way to get the message.

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
More than one way to get the message.
5
Sat, 01-12-2013 - 9:36am

Yesterdays post on Baggage Reclaim really resonated with me. Key words all over the place. I read it twice, and again this morning. I'm saving it to and plan on rereading it daily, it all just makes so much sense. Maybe it is just the words that I use that hit me square between the eyes. Sometimes we need to knock some sense into ourselves.

Edited to include link: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/beyond-the-regret-hangover-thoughts-on-letting-go/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BaggageReclaim-TheGuideToSingleLivingDatingRelationshipsAndOfCourseManTaming+%28Baggage+Reclaim+Relationship+Blog%29

Words, like DONE, CLINGING, HANGING ON, EGO, COMMIT, CLOSURE.

Sometimes we have to hear someone else say it, say the same thing, just a little differently to get it into our minds and to bounce around for a while. I'm looking for a wake up moment to pass on to those who need it. 

Don't we all need a special push sometimes?

Give it a try. Give it a honest read or even twice. It can't hurt you. It can only do some good.

As long as you are giving time, time..........make it usful.

RatherBeMe

PS: If you don't get it today, read it tomorrow.  

THIS IS US, FOLKS.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Sat, 01-12-2013 - 12:26pm

Thanks for that link, RBM.  Information like this can often bring that light-bulb moment and clear up all the confusion.

"I love you because I need you"

"I need you because I love you"

Such a big difference in these two sentences.  The first one comes from a place of neediness...hence all the clinginess.  I don't think love can survive under this condition.

The second one comes from a healthier place.

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Sat, 01-12-2013 - 2:02pm
RBM I read Baggage reclaim CONSTANTLY. everything on there resonates and is a massive resource for us. Her posts and her books clearly show the awful dance if an affair and shows exactly how we played into the drama and dysfunction. It's only now after trying to rid myself of all this this A crap for so long that I truly get her message. It needs daily reinforcement for me still as he still works with me - i strongly recommend everyone to give it a try. Love Yellow xx

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Sat, 01-12-2013 - 2:44pm

List of Posts | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

You reminded me to float the thread in the HL with this link, but I'm putting it here as well.

Seems we can't just click on a link anymore inside here (well I can't anyway) and need to copy and then paste in to search.  

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
Tue, 01-15-2013 - 8:07am

Thanks for linking the article.  I enjoyed her writing style and her advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
Tue, 01-15-2013 - 2:34pm
Thank you Ratherbeme for posting this link. These are the little 'nuggets' I gather to help me continue on this journey. So this is what really "hit me square between the eyes" "Not all good things last. I learned this as a child when my mother would get upset with me because I didn’t want a great day out to end. I wanted it to last ‘forever’ and the potential disappointment would seemingly affect me.." For me, this is why I struggle somedays with 'pushing' out the thoughts of my relationship with xap. Darn it....most of it was so much fun....exciting....adventurous....Exactly how I felt as a kid when I was outside playing and having a GREAT time....I never wanted it to end...I didn't want to go inside the house a do my chores....I didn't want to be confined...I wanted to run 'free' and have fun...and as a little kid...a did ALOT of that...while 'playing' outside. My affair was exactly the same thing I experienced as a child...playing and running free....."and the potential disappointment would seemingly affect me"...as if I will never...ever...have fun again. Again...thank you so very much for sharing this! Progression