More questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
More questions
4
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 9:22am
So I have been pushing h away for years cuz of a sex with him became my duty not something I wanted I felt as if I belonged to xap... If a girl met my h and he said his sex life sucked and was pretty non existent he wouldn't be lying...the more I think about it if anyone is ripe for an a he would be I know he is very affection starved.
I know I'm not ready for sex I haven't even cried yet since I went nc but sex idk I'm not sure I can handle that.. Someone pls tell me that they went from viewing h as a roommate to actual desire again? I dont even know how to start...we've had no dday h doesn't know about a I'm not sure what he thinks happened to us
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 9:37am
Hmmmmm
I think there are bigger alternative issues aside from sex.

Sex is a culminating because you love everything (or most everything else) about the person, expression about feelings and intimate relationships (non-sexual), usually based more in true love and trust -

So no - I wouldn't jump back into sex if you haven't been doing that all along. Perhaps the bigger question is - do you still want to BE married to this man. He has the right to a semblence of happiness (as do you). While I know some M's can be reconciled even without a dDay - it is a LOT of hard work and having some basic relationship respect and feelings of affection would be where it needs to start.

I chose to end my M at the same time as my A. Best choice I ever did make. While xH is a 'good guy" - being in the A made me realize I wanted more, NEEDED more out of a marriage.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 9:41am
I guess your right I dont know if I want to be in m and I need to figure that out I guess I have to stop thinking h is a good guy of course I want to and find out if I really want to
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2010
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 10:39am

LFH,

Be careful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 1:53pm

LFH,

I second Acting's post!! I could have written it myself. You have no obligation to figure out what's wrong in your M at this moment. Put it on the back burner. It can wait.

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.