Alice, Wow, insightful journey. I ditched all the emails a few days into the ending and was so happy I did. I was told that doing that was a major step forward, and it's true. However, now that I'm four months out, occasionally I wish I had the emails to go through like you did. I sometimes have questions about what happened and I can't remember the details. I guess that's a blessing?? I dunno. Maybe the emails would just be a can of worms better left closed.
Good for you and your realizations! Keep up the good work.
It's wonderful to read of your progress and self-discoveries. I agree, all the women and men on this board are amazing in the fact that they share their pain, hurt, little milestones and triumphs with virtual strangers. It is a very brave thing to do. We all help each other heal. I know I will be forever grateful I discovered this forum.
(and btw, I kept my blackberry by my side last night and even after three vodka tonics, I resisted the temptation to email him!! I really thought I might cave last night but I didn't! I am feeling a little like a peacock this morning! :)
I still have all of the emails, but I just can't read through them. I did read through them the week before I ended it, and seeing the progression of the A was one of the motivators to end it for me. I can't bring myself to delete them, but I do not log into that account and haven't for several weeks. It's a trigger and I avoid all triggers within my control.
I wanted to just pop in and commend you for all of your progress. Keep it up.
Yes, I'm an admitted lurker....I found EAS all quite by accident when searching for how to deal with the pain of breaking off an affair....
Your message struck a chord....since I thought mine was so different...different on so many levels....I'm a woman in a committed relationship with another woman...and had an affair with a woman in a committed relationship with another woman....I'm hesitant to post on EAS since I don't see many others like me...but I have looked for an "appropriate" place...and there just don't seem to be many...
But I will say...I actually smiled for the first time in 9 days when I read your realizations....wow...uh...I could have written most of it...and actually did when I journaled the entire time of the affair...except the pronouns were different
Welcome rightthingtd!! So glad you found EAS. I stumbled upon this board myself six months ago while googling about affairs. You will find a lot of good advice, comfort and support here. I don't think it matters the sex of your partner, the feelings are all the same, IMHO. Why don't you post a new thread, just to introduce yourself if nothing else. There is a great support system here for you. :)
Wow! Everything you just wrote is my story to a T. Wow are all these MM the same guy....lol!!
I just came out of the fog of my affair and boy was I a real idiot. I would keep my phone beside my bed just in case a text came in or an email. And my MM would text me whenever his wife was out of town or in the time slot we had arranged to. They are so selfish it's unbelievable....but the most unbelievable thing is we as woman put up with it. Never will I get involved with a MM again. Never!
My H is also adoring and loves me and also knows about the affair. He loves me and wants to work things out. When my affair first ended just weeks ago...all I thought about was this lying jerk. I am now focused on MC with my husband and looking after me.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Pages
Alice,
I love this post.
Alice,
Wow, insightful journey. I ditched all the emails a few days into the ending and was so happy I did. I was told that doing that was a major step forward, and it's true. However, now that I'm four months out, occasionally I wish I had the emails to go through like you did. I sometimes have questions about what happened and I can't remember the details. I guess that's a blessing?? I dunno. Maybe the emails would just be a can of worms better left closed.
Good for you and your realizations!
Keep up the good work.
cheers,
Dee
Alice,
I heart you. :)
It's wonderful to read of your progress and self-discoveries. I agree, all the women and men on this board are amazing in the fact that they share their pain, hurt, little milestones and triumphs with virtual strangers. It is a very brave thing to do. We all help each other heal. I know I will be forever grateful I discovered this forum.
(and btw, I kept my blackberry by my side last night and even after three vodka tonics, I resisted the temptation to email him!! I really thought I might cave last night but I didn't! I am feeling a little like a peacock this morning! :)
Hi Alice-
I still have all of the emails, but I just can't read through them. I did read through them the week before I ended it, and seeing the progression of the A was one of the motivators to end it for me. I can't bring myself to delete them, but I do not log into that account and haven't for several weeks. It's a trigger and I avoid all triggers within my control.
I wanted to just pop in and commend you for all of your progress. Keep it up.
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Morning to all you ladies!
Yes, I'm an admitted lurker....I found EAS all quite by accident when searching for how to deal with the pain of breaking off an affair....
Your message struck a chord....since I thought mine was so different...different on so many levels....I'm a woman in a committed relationship with another woman...and had an affair with a woman in a committed relationship with another woman....I'm hesitant to post on EAS since I don't see many others like me...but I have looked for an "appropriate" place...and there just don't seem to be many...
But I will say...I actually smiled for the first time in 9 days when I read your realizations....wow...uh...I could have written most of it...and actually did when I journaled the entire time of the affair...except the pronouns were different
Wow! Everything you just wrote is my story to a T. Wow are all these MM the same guy....lol!!
I just came out of the fog of my affair and boy was I a real idiot. I would keep my phone beside my bed just in case a text came in or an email. And my MM would text me whenever his wife was out of town or in the time slot we had arranged to. They are so selfish it's unbelievable....but the most unbelievable thing is we as woman put up with it. Never will I get involved with a MM again. Never!
My H is also adoring and loves me and also knows about the affair. He loves me and wants to work things out. When my affair first ended just weeks ago...all I thought about was this lying jerk. I am now focused on MC with my husband and looking after me.
Hi Alice,
Oh yes the pouring over old emails. I remember that stage well.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Pages