Morning After
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Morning After
| Tue, 11-09-2004 - 9:36am |
Well after a rough night of tossing an turning an almost no sleep I am sitting here almost scared my phone will ring an scared it wont at the same time. He calls (or used to) call every morning since I didnt answer last night that maybe used to. I wont answer if it does. Today feels like it will drag on I have made plans to hang out with my neice an best friend I am off work and need to keep myself to busy to sit and think. Is it terrible that I do kind of hope he was miserable last night and lost as much sleep as I did? I feel bad because I do. Its just not in my nature to wish ill on any one. I keep telling myself its going to get easier..
Krm..

Do not think you are a bad person for wanting him to be as miserable as you. In reality, what you are REALLY wishing is that he misses you and is as hurt as you are because he cares for you. If he isn't miserable and missing you, that would mean that he doesn't care and that is a painful thought.....make sense?
Keep yourself BUSY, BUSY, BUSY and constantly around people who love and support you as much as possible. It's gonna be tough but you WILL do this.
I think the ending of any relationship, affairs included, is so difficult initially. It breaks up the status quo; life as you knew it. We all deal differently with change. Even in the midst of the controversy going on on this board right now, I have to say, keep posting. These folks have helped me keep my sanity and more importantly, they've helped me keep NC. You're going to be okay. Just keep moving forward and don't look back. Love, Mo.
I thnk we must be in the same place emotionally. I, too, had a meltdown last night, but today I'm feeling pretty confident. He tried to call me twice today but I didn't answer his calls. I'm SO curious what he wanted to say to me, but since I'm sure it's not what I wanted to hear, I saw no point in talking to him. I am secretly happy to know that he's still thinking about me though, and I hope he's struggling like I am too. Sounds like you and I are on the same page.