The Most Important Reason For NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2012
The Most Important Reason For NC
Sun, 11-04-2012 - 1:25pm

It took me nearly two months to fully appreciate why NC is so important.  There is zero doubt in my mind that my xAP misses me and is certainly upset that I ended our A so abruptly and with little warning.

Cyberstalking and generally maintaining C chips away at our self-respect, self-confidence and integrity.

If there is any chance for a respectable, open, real and proper relationship with my xAP at some point down the road, it simply must begin with ending.  In doing so, the subterfuge involved in an illicit A also ends.

We heal, get our lives back, become healthy and openly deal with the root-cause of problems that provided fertile ground for the A to start with.

I have now shut down all avenues of possible communication.  It hurt initially but it's absolutely the right thing to do.

My xAP and I were friends.  His last words to me we're that he respects my wishes.  Leaving the A with respect is what I wanted - and I don't want to mess that up.

I can't predict the future, but this is the only real path to ensuring the A ended properly, getting healthy again and possibly lead to a better place down the road.

So, in the end, NC is not negotiable if we are to have something better in the future.