moving on

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2010
moving on
22
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 3:16pm

rejection is hard. it hurts. no one knows better than I how much. Most of my life has been spent trying to find where I fit in. Money, clothes, kids, stuff, job, who I know, etc. Always seems like I was trying for something I shouldn't have aimed for.


I knew he was married when we met. It was not my intention to actually ever see him again. For me it was a one night stand that I thought afterwards - wow that was stupid.


before I

"It will all be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
In reply to: chocolatmartini
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 12:07pm

Hi,

I want to add my support! I get your perspective and I hope you keep finding the strength and clarity to do for yourself what you dream another might do for you. When I was pulled into the seduction of the A it felt so comforting. I was/am recovering from the traumatic loss of my brother. It has been painful to realize that my AP was more fantasy than real (this message board about the fog, and NC and all these affair short-hand concepts helps alot).

I have to see my AP as a neighbor and figure out how to have neighborly contact that doesn't trigger my vulnerabilities. With the support of all of you here, I feel MUCH more protective of myself, as in: NC for MY benefit. Never mind what he would like, what he is doing, whether he is interested...duh: it's best for me if he is absolutely not in my picture!

Keep connecting here; I know it will help you as it is helping me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
In reply to: chocolatmartini
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 9:30pm

Chocolate mama,

Wow. What a post. U write with so much clarity, insight and wisdom. Your posts remind me of how I felt over 3 months ago. We feels ya, thats for sure. U are one powerful women. Ur fog is lifting and you are seeing the A for what it was. You really have so much to be proud of. U are miles ahead of most newbies, including myself. I am in awe of you and your moving post.

Just a lil suggestion. I am like you, a lil older, two kids, like you, same age range. They are my salvation, along with this board, I have rediscovered the joy of being a mom and spending good quality time with them...really being in tune with their lives, things I neglected in the A. Time that I can not get back with them, all I can do is enjoy them as much as I can now. I am loving the pureness of their love and mine for them, nothing like it. They are my focus these days, they get my attention, they are worthy by nature and they give me all that I need to stay on my current path.

They made me get out of bed, when I did not want to. They made me smile when I was sad. They have showed me what life is really about...I had truly forgotten. keep your head up and know that the pain will ease in time. It has not been long since I felt as you did, hurt as you are. Let me know if you are interested in my story...I had an old screen name for you to look up old posts if you are interested. Plenty under my current name as well. In the meantime, focus on you and those kids, they will be grown and gone in a blink of an eye....make you and them your true and loyal focus.

Clarity...so happy to see ya back. I missed ya. I missed your blue text and all. BTW, how do you book mark a post. I need to revisit my some of my oldies too....been a rough month...let me know when you can, thanks

Luvin

Luvin

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida

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