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|Thu, 01-17-2013 - 10:19pm|
I think I am moving along and getting to being resigned that is over. I don't know why it hurts so much to accept that. It isn't as if I ever expected to end up with him nor did he ever offer to do so. I don't know what I wanted, but I do know right now things hurt. The hardest part is that I am not committed to ending it, yet, I know it is over. Once again I had to ask him to let me be. I want to get strong so I can look at this and move on.
I am extremely thankful that the pain has dulled and is no longer driving my day or my desire to end it. Every one of his emails causes me pain and I can't figure out why he continues to hurt me so.
I am afraid I will never love again and I will die alone, yet, I know that is much better than how I feel right now.
On the other hand, I've been running and I have felt better. I have several races coming up and I need to focus on them to get lost in an acitivity.
Thank you all for the support.