Moving on too
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| Fri, 07-09-2004 - 12:25pm |
But I just wanted to let ya'll know that I won't be posting for a while either. For the first time in a while I'm feeling good and strong enough to try and put all of this behind me. The board has been a great help, and also kind of made me sad sometimes because so many of your stories reminded me of my own.
Just to give you an idea of what I'm feeling...
After the occassional email that me and my xMM shared, it's been almost 2 full weeks of complete no contact, even though this 'phase' as been going on for two months now. As much as I still love him, I'm at the point now where I feel that I deserved better from my xMM. I did not deserve to have our friendship disregarded so carelessly and easily by him. I'm tired of being sad over this, I'm tired of thinking about him and wondering how he's doing, and I'm tired of waiting around for him to fulfill his promise of contacting me again. I deserve so much more in life and the way I see it, it's his loss. He may feel that loss, or he may not and at this point I guess it really shouldn't matter to me. I'm not angry at him, I'm disappointed in him. I would love to have a friendship with him, but I'm no longer making it as important to me as I have been. If it's meant to be, it will happen.
Life goes on ladies, and no matter how long it takes you to get there, you WILL get to the point where you move on. You will also get to the point where you believe that even though your MM truly loves or loved you, this is the way things have to be for whatever reason, and that you deserve better in your life. Don't forget...we only get one chance to live this life!
I hope that I don't have to post here again needing to vent or because I feel so sad. Someday soon I would like to come back to help others when I'm comfortable with my own feelings. Until then, I wish you all the best of luck with everything. During these hard times, please don't forget to take care of yourselves!
Thank you everyone, for all of your support.
JM
