for my friend HP

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
for my friend HP
7
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 5:28pm

Hey Girl~


I hope my post was'nt to brutal yesterday...


Im here if ya wanna talk.


Hugs,


L

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2009
In reply to: lynn0708
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 10:03am
Not offended in the least. I need some tough love to get me through this restart phase. I have been extremely busy at work and just cannot get on here at night. Let me start by telling you about the past 3 months.....a new project started which required limited communication. I set the tone at the beginning of the communication and didn't return any "playful suggestions" or "invitations". . . I remained strong for 3 months; ignoring him and feeling great about it. Life rolled on; until about two weeks ago; he turned up the heat; and Monday I just caved. I still am in discovery mode. Why do I let him coax me back each and everytime ? I think he truley is my addiction; and I fight some need to keep him on this shelf that I reach too when I need my fix. Monday was the last fix. I arrived; he was already in bed. (Eye Roll I know) I couldn't believe it myself; we
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
In reply to: lynn0708
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 11:45am
My heart goes out to you and others that have to have any contact.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2009
In reply to: lynn0708
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 12:19pm

You know for me; I firmly believe this is the nail.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
In reply to: lynn0708
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 12:43pm

Im glad that is finally over...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to: lynn0708
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 1:09am

Hi HP,


Welcome back. I wish it was under better circumstances however, I’m hopeful when I write that to you again it’s because you’re here to share your success story. I’m a glass is half-full kinda gal so I’m holding on to hope that I will be writing that to you in the near future.


I was wondering how xAP got in touch with you since I remember you finally blocked him. Your reply cleared it up.


So you know me I encourage posters to look within and figure out the “whys”. Here is my question to you. Not meant to be harsh but just meant to encourage you to dig deep (as Lynn put it).


What is different this time? If we want to get honest and want to “get real” (oh I felt a little Dr Phil channeling through and strangely a little bit of a country accent) then we have to acknowledge that you have said the same thing before. So why is this time different?


Not trying to throw a wrench in it. Just really trying to get you to figure out why you find yourself in this same position so many times and what you are going to do differently this time. We cannot do the same thing and expect different results to paraphrase a famous quote. It's about change and change is an action word. What changes are you making?


Hope you find answers to these questions and they help you end this once and for all.


Much love and big hugs,


E1


Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2009
In reply to: lynn0708
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 9:33am

And that is my quest for the week to dig deep and found why ? I don't know why ? The validation of not loving or not caring; is nothing compared to the validation of wanting and needing my addiction with him. That I cannot deny; for whatever reason, full moon, no moon, half moon, I would run back time and time again. I had a busy weekend, no time for myself; or entry of random thoughts of him into my stratosphere. Today starts day 6 of NC; I still am where I was last week, numb to the point of thoughts of him; numb to the end. I know its over this time for good. But I still don't know why I know that other than the last time was so "flat-line". I am wholeheartedly being honest when I say I couldn't wait for the night to end; and that brought me to the conclusion; there is no good in this, there was no good in this, and this is officially over. Its like a switch turned off.


I head your advice, I have been reading and reading; I have been running, and walking the dog; I have been cooking and cleaning; I have been focusing on kids and my husband, I have kept my mind busy, my heart free and am ready to listen. Its a good start for me.....


Happy Monday. ((Hugs back))


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
In reply to: lynn0708
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 8:29am

Good Morning HP!


Yes I think the thoughts of that last time with be poison enough to keep you away...