my good friend
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my good friend
| Wed, 04-06-2011 - 6:10am |
Before we met, xAP and I knew no one in common. But as a way of welcoming him into my life, helping him get to know "the real me", and spending more time together I introduced xAP and his wife to my very dear friend and her H who have kids of similar ages. They hit it off famously and have started to celebrate birthdays together, take family holidays together etc etc. (Yeap, you can bet I'm kicking myself now!)
I would love to know if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice? I guess the options as I see them are:
1) tell xAP to get the h*ll out of my friend's life because I knew her first and I do not want to run the risk of hearing anything about him or seeing him again through her (but that would require breaking NC which I absolutely do not want to do)
2) discretely tell my friend that xAP and I became closer than we should have and that I would appreciate it if she could keep our two families apart as much as possible and not talk to me about things they've been doing together (which I would find hard to do and would carry the risk of my friend telling xAP's W about our involvement)
3) accept that this is part of the price I have to pay for my stupidity and distance myself from the friendship, refuse any invitations to social events at her house etc etc (which would make me feel sad as we have been friends for 19 years and our kids have grown up together)
4) just carry on as if nothing has changed, ignore any comments she makes about xAP or his W, and implement LC if I ever have the misfortune to see him at her home (which would be hard on me, awkward for my friend, and unbearably difficult for my H. So actually, out of respect for my H I don't think that's an option at all.)
God, I was such an idiot. I introduced xAP (as a "friend") to my boss, my colleagues, my mentor, my children, my 2 best friends, my parents, my brother ... And who did he introduce me to in his life? No-one.
Thoughts, suggestions, reminders of what an idiot I've been, alternative solutions? Any ideas welcome.
Kat
I would love to know if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice? I guess the options as I see them are:
1) tell xAP to get the h*ll out of my friend's life because I knew her first and I do not want to run the risk of hearing anything about him or seeing him again through her (but that would require breaking NC which I absolutely do not want to do)
2) discretely tell my friend that xAP and I became closer than we should have and that I would appreciate it if she could keep our two families apart as much as possible and not talk to me about things they've been doing together (which I would find hard to do and would carry the risk of my friend telling xAP's W about our involvement)
3) accept that this is part of the price I have to pay for my stupidity and distance myself from the friendship, refuse any invitations to social events at her house etc etc (which would make me feel sad as we have been friends for 19 years and our kids have grown up together)
4) just carry on as if nothing has changed, ignore any comments she makes about xAP or his W, and implement LC if I ever have the misfortune to see him at her home (which would be hard on me, awkward for my friend, and unbearably difficult for my H. So actually, out of respect for my H I don't think that's an option at all.)
God, I was such an idiot. I introduced xAP (as a "friend") to my boss, my colleagues, my mentor, my children, my 2 best friends, my parents, my brother ... And who did he introduce me to in his life? No-one.
Thoughts, suggestions, reminders of what an idiot I've been, alternative solutions? Any ideas welcome.
Kat

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