My H totally ignored Valentine's Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
My H totally ignored Valentine's Day
4
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:06pm

I ended my A about a month and a half ago. My H never found out about it, and since I made the decision to end my A, I've really been trying to make our M better. I woke my H up early Valentine's morning, before work and school, and made love with him. He seemed to think that was pretty great. But then, I don't get even get so much as a card for V-day. It's just feels like it's more of the same that I've put up with for 15+ years with him. All throughout our M, I've always been the one who does 90% of the giving and supporting.

Did anyone else have a sucky Valentine's Day with their spouse and miss the attention and affection they got from their AP? Can anyone else commiserate?

NewSummer

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2005
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 2:33pm
Newsummer, I don't mean to get off topic here. But you wouldn't believe the amount of women I work with who came in complaining about their insensetive, jerky husbands who forgot valentines day. Is your husband a good man aside from forgetting valentines day? It's hard for a woman to not get bummed out when her husband/boyfriend doesn't seem to have a romantic bone in his body. When I was still dating my ex, he had a hard time remembering special occassions. When he did this, I was just as sad and disappointed as you seem to be right now. Then, I'd start to think of other things. Like all of the overtime he was putting in at work to provide for us, the way he pampered me when I was sick, rub my back when it was sore, or going out at midnight to get me ice cream, even though he really didn't want to. I realized it shouldn't take a special day for him to show me he loved me, he had been doing it all along.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 12:00am

New

Have you TALKED to your husband about what he did not do and how it effected you, I am sure you have heard it before but communications is the key to making any relationship work.

Better to attack the problem then to dwell on it.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 9:22am

Free,

Yes I did tell him and now he basically isn't speaking to me. I'll get the silent, angry treatment for a couple of days now, unless I apologize for being hurt that he ignores me all the time and didn't do anything for me for V-Day. You see, he punishes me if I'm ever angry or upset with him. I'm feeling pretty hopeless about my M today.

Summer

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 8:31pm

New

Do you and hubby have children, if not your in a better postion to standup for you reasonable needs, I don't want to start a fight but you should not back down if you do your hubby will get it that he can act like a spoiled child and control you that way.

I don't know how bad it really is but if you had an affair maybe your ready to force the issues in your marriage....HUBBY marriage counceling or the doorway whats it going to be buster.

It may sound radical but how long can your marriage survive the status que !

JMHO

Free