my head says to end it ...but my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2004
my head says to end it ...but my heart
2
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 2:35am
My MM told his wife that he loved me and wanted to be with me. She got everyone involved.... pastor, their grown children, her brothers and sisters....etc.. She ( and everyone else) convinced him to go back to her. She told him that she wouldnt let him go..... she would fight for him to the end. He owns a business and has partners. I know he is afraid of losing everything and says she really didnt do anything to deserve this. I quit seeing him, but we ended up back together. He says he loves me, but can't leave his wife. I know I should walk away from him (the logical side of me) but my heart aches for him. Why is it so difficult to walk away ... to move on? I met him at a low time in my life. I was going through a terrible divorce. My ex was abusive. My MM taught me to love again. I am sad now........ it was my birthday the other day and he said we wouldnt be able to see each other.....but we ended up being together.......NO PRESENT FROM MM. I think that says something.... that I am not important to him..... HELP!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 7:59am
No matter who is involved, he is a grown man and if he truly wanted to leave he would. No one has him chained to his life.

I know that probably sounds harsh and it's not meant to be.

Everyone on this board has been through this and ending it really stinks, but if you give it time it gets so much easier. I ended my affair because I hated being second best. To my H I am #1 and always will be. I wish I would have realized that before I entered into an A.

Keep reminding yourself that an A is a fantasy world. Put yourself in his wife's shoes and that would be reality. Would you really want that for yourself? Looking back on my A, everyday I am thankful that I'm not xmm's wife. I thought I really liked the person that he was, but in all reality, he so much different in "real life".

Best of luck in whatever you decide.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 1:51pm
Wow. I have read your post over and over, and it just makes so much sense. Just to step back and have a sliver of clarity... if I can keep that up, I'll be well on my way.

Complicated