MY Health/Good news/BAD news-he fished!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
MY Health/Good news/BAD news-he fished!
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Thu, 02-18-2010 - 4:16pm

I am well. I had my sonogram, I had minor surgery Tues am, and all looks well. As of now, no vasectomy. Just a D & C. I should be just fine, based on what the doc says. So I am thankful. I am so blessed. It could have been worse. Thanks for all your well wishes and your support. You were all there with me.

Thanks so much.

NOW the bad news, I am one week from being a tween, meaning NC for almost 90 days. i have counted those days into weeks and they were like a big S on my chest. Every week was a milestone, I have slowly felt better. I have been loyal to this board and have been really focusing on me. Yes I had some good days and bad ones....esp when I had to go to a follow up appt and then this recent health incident.

Soooooooo Tues, guess who decides they want to talk to me after almost 90 days. MM!! He emails me while I am actually in surgery.. He emails and emails, he goes directly into a delete folder, I would not have seen the emails even if I was not having surgery. Since I do not respond, he starts to txt, have no ideal how this man got my number. But he was relentless. The texts, then the calls, I was still in recovery.

He had no idea what has been going on with me. I have cut him off. But somehow when he fished, it was prefect timing. I was simply unavailable. God is good. The surgery was a blessing. I was still somewhat under anesthesia when I said
I heard it all....I love you messages...I miss you....I wonder if we had the B....yes he had the nerve to go there.
It was a classic fishing attempt. he loves me, he misses me, he needs to see me. he has not ever stopped thinking about me. emails were more detailed and long.....this man ran like the wind and he really thinks he can impose himself on me....What an ego? He needed it stroked.....
I thought he would say all the things I wanted to hear and he actually did....but not really, if that makes any sense...

I thought I wanted my high, my ego boost, I wanted to know I meant something. But it really doe not make you feel any better...if anything it takes you back to full throttle A days. All confused and a mess. Until you shift gears and see things for what they really are.

I was pissed as hell that he would go so far to contact me again. he really thinks he could just walk back into my life and pick up where we left off.

My surgery was a blessing in disguise. I may have answered my phone, even if I did not recognize the number, he would have caught me off guard and I am not sure how I would have handled things....I am not sure, I am thinking I would have just hung up on him. But I can not say for sure, I was rather emotional as of late, due to my health, and he would have been the perfectly wrong crutch. The emails started off so simple. Then they drove him crazy, cuz he put so much in them and did not get a response. so than he went to txting, and when he did not get a response from that, he went to calling and leaving long vm's telling me about the emails and I read them, and I read the txts, and I listened to the vm's. I did not know who i was listening to initially based on the number but his voice captivated me for a moment and then I am reading the txts and the voicemails......I ignored him...I did but he is still in my head. Even more.
Maybe he got the picture? No, I am sure he will try again. He needs an ego boost. He is probably fighting with his wife or new OW or something and thinks he can fall back on me again.

Let me tell you what its been like for me since his fishing attempt. It sucks.....I am ok, but it really just sucks...I have had so much freedom from my phone....did not pay it any attention if it was in the same room with me...even if it rang...I would get to it when i felt like it........but just to show you....since his vast fishing attempt, I am looking at it again, wondering if its him, I have not answered a call unless I recognize the number and I wonder if its him again trying when i do not recognize the number. I am pulled back in slightly...the fact that I pick up my phone to see if its him....from some new random number is making me mad at me!! So I am here doing what I know is best. I am here.

It is that easy for him to have a small amount of control of me...all over again. I can not allow this, I can not allow this. So I am going to block everything -yet again or start with a new everything.
and now I have a plan....A good plan for another fishing attempt that may very well catch me off guard.

New Newbies..U do not want the man to fish, you think you do for validation, but trust and know, you really do not. I used to want him to fish. I obsessed when he would if ever. He did not after so long. Not a word or try, so I assumed he was done and had made my life a bit easier by staying the heck out of it.....
I shoulda known better....so many have spoken of fishing attempts even years later....I should of known that my 3 months did not make me safe from him!!

Surgery day I dwelled on him, because of all the days...why today? I thought, is this some kind of divine intervention? I have let that go...and I am going to fiercely keep him away. He said so much and that is ok...but I can not let him or any person take me down such a horrid past again. I cant. I wont. and I will post any response to him here!! My silence will let him know that I am done.

Any suggestions on a plan? i know that basics...I know some things I can do, but am always open to knew and/or better ideas....thanks

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Fri, 02-19-2010 - 5:52pm

free,

happy u r in a good place and you will stay there....i too used to get nostalgic, had the fantasy all plaid out in my head when and if he ever did contact me or if i just happen to run into him....its ok and normal that we have those thoughts, happy to have helped in some kind of way. take care.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida

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