my heart is breaking

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2010
my heart is breaking
11
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:52am
does anyone else feel as lonely or as bad as me?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 10:18am

Lilly,
You can and will recover and find that life can be beautiful and worthwhile; you just need to extricate yourself from the very deep and dark hole you've dug. It will take time, work, and a lot of commitment. You will see that here, on this board, there are countless women (and a few guys) who have done it. You can too.

If you want to stop the pain, we can help you do it, but you need to take the first step and get off the train to hell. We're waiting for you.

Love and prayers,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2010
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 10:52am

Hi Lilly,


I'm still a relatively new 'ender' here. Would you share your story?


Where are you living? Did you leave for AP or did you leave because there were issues in the marriage?


Did your husband find out about the A?


Stay strong today... I have been in pain

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 4:04am

thankyou for your reply i cried my way all through reading it, my friends have all got

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 4:19am
hi, thankyou for your reply, i have bought a little house and now live on my own, my children are growing up aged 18 and 15 they live with their dad as i work long and unsociable hours he doesn't, the loneliness is breaking me,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 4:43am

Lilly,


My heart is breaking for you. I cannot understand how you must feel but I imagine that eventually, this new freedom you have will one day become the making of you.


You say your marriage was stale, so don't look at it like this all happened over the affair - it may well have just been something that allowed you to see how your marriage wasn't working.


You sound very low, even depressed, have you gone to your doctor? You have went through a major life changing upheaval. Go visit the dr, and perhaps see can you go through therapy.


I think you need to not dwell on a partner, or worry about being alone forever, that is more than likely never going to be the case. And all your friends and family with partners, I'm sure many of them aren't that happy...


Get you sorted, get your confidence rebuilt and then, the new independent you shining will attract the right person.


I'm sending you a massive hugemongous hug from Ireland and I hope that talking with us helps you.


But please do see someone. I'm so sorry you're hurting but my thoughts are with you.


Take care and keep in touch.


PikuLouxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 5:20am

sat here crying again, thanks for your reply,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 6:19am

No Lilly, you aren't stupid... you genuinely fell for someone, and have broken up with this person and that hope for being with him has been shattered, so your dreams, and future are also feeling non-existant... but they aren't

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 7:00am

Lilly -

I know it's really, really hard for you right now. I feel your sadness and all these negative thoughts are swirling around in your head. We've all been there.

<<>>

You are a lonely, sad, SMART woman for posting here and taking the first step toward a happy, full life. We all should have known better. But we made a mistake - we are human. You said a therapist can't mend your broken heart or make someone fall in love with you. Ultimately, you're right - it has to come from you. BUT, talking to someone about your feelings and figuring out how you got to this place will help you start putting that bandaid on. Please take a look at all of the posts in the Healing Library too. Read everything you can. You are not alone, Lilly. We're all here for you.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 7:54am

((Lilly))


It's going to be okay. We have all had our hearts broken and here we are, wiser and stronger than ever. Some day down the road this will be you too. Keep reading here for strength and understanding. Affairs destroy all that is in their paths. After some time goes by, you will start to see the light just over the horizon. Focus on your children now. If there is any chance for reconciliation with your H, that will unfold in the months ahead, but for right now you need to get your heart and mind in a healthier place.


Welcome to endings, and don't be a stranger. We are here for you.


(((Hugs)))

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 8:03am

Dear Lilly,


Please know that we are here because we have realized our mistake and what is important is that we are correcting it now.

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