My letter to XAP

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
My letter to XAP
5
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 2:57pm

I am struggling today and decided to write this letter to EAS instead of the xap.


Dear ,


I am not sure where my real heart is now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2010
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 3:28pm

Hello jlil.


That's a painful letter and really illustrates the emotions we've all went through or still are.


It's definitely better that letter is on EAS not on XAP's email/phone or wherever. Because like you said in the letter, he doesn't care, so it would be wasted on him.


We're all here for you. Just letting out how you feel will help.


Good luck and keep up NC. It's the only way.


PikuLou xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 3:37pm

JL,


You are showing your strength by posting your thoughts here and continuing NC. I know you have struggled with making NC work for you and you reaching out here and resisting the urge to contact xAP is a huge step for you.


I hope you are recovering and have no ill health effects from your last encounter with xAP.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 5:41pm

Hello-

We've all gone through this phase- the phase where we just can't believe we didn't mean anything. You will get past this phase and it will come from knowing in your heart that you are enough- when you don't need validation from someone else. This will take time, but if you keep working through the emotions, you will get there. Just remember- it doesn't matter. I know it feels like it does right now, but it doesn't. I liken this to high school. Remember how much everything mattered back then- what people thought of you, etc? Now, look back at that. Did it matter? No way. It's so insignificant in the grand scheme of things and this will be too. Just keep moving forward.

Hugs,

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 8:28pm

JapLost,

Did u post this before? I am pretty confident you did. Either way, it's very powerful n well written. I like it just as much now is I did the first time I read it.

It helps me reflect on how far I have come. Thank u for posting and/or reposting this.

Blessings to you

Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 9:14pm

I'm sorry you struggled today. You did the right thing by posting your letter here. I hope you read the linked thread that E1 posted (thank you E1) It was very good.

Bodhi