My story-before the affair.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
My story-before the affair.
18
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 11:09am

I am going to go way back.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 4:57pm

I also had the same mom.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 5:30pm

Thank you for your words of encouragement and your story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 12:17pm

Nolove... I'm one of the women you are

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 12:37pm

Reading these stories really reminds me how important it is for us to break the cycle with our kids. My dad was the abusive one in my past. I was also spanked with a belt - he even would make me go get it. I was thumped many times on the head with his middle finger. I think the verbal and the emotional abuse was worse though. It got a lot worse for me after my brother died my parents got divorced. I was scared to death of him. Anything could set him off - I used to compare it to walking in a field of land mines. When I think back, it's almost laughable - I didn't clean something to his liking once and he told me to "get the F out of his house".

Like you Garfy, it finally took me standing my ground for it to somewhat stop. I was helping him move - carrying things WAY too heavy for my small frame - but he didn't care. I dropped something and he told me "my heart wasn't into helping him and he never wanted to f-ing see me again". I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I never wanted to f-ing see him ever again either. I was 17 years old. My mom was out of town - I got in my car, drove back to my mom's house, locked the doors and spent the rest of the weekend alone. He tried to call, tried to come over - I ignored all of it. It was weeks before I would even talk to him.

I can NOT imagine treating my children the way I was treated. I know I make my own mistakes with them, but at least they feel safe, respected and loved.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 12:50pm

Bodhi, the sad part in this is, the same way you were terrified of your father (walking on land mines), I was terrified of my mother.

When she used to say "Bring me your school books because I want to see if you did your homework", I used to go to the washroom and be sick to my stomach.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 12:52pm

Thank you for sharing your stories girls.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 4:40pm
Garfy-Our parents have NO idea the scars they have left behind, scars that will last our lifetime.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 9:34am

Nolove, they have no idea.

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