Reading these stories really reminds me how important it is for us to break the cycle with our kids. My dad was the abusive one in my past. I was also spanked with a belt - he even would make me go get it. I was thumped many times on the head with his middle finger. I think the verbal and the emotional abuse was worse though. It got a lot worse for me after my brother died my parents got divorced. I was scared to death of him. Anything could set him off - I used to compare it to walking in a field of land mines. When I think back, it's almost laughable - I didn't clean something to his liking once and he told me to "get the F out of his house".
Like you Garfy, it finally took me standing my ground for it to somewhat stop. I was helping him move - carrying things WAY too heavy for my small frame - but he didn't care. I dropped something and he told me "my heart wasn't into helping him and he never wanted to f-ing see me again". I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I never wanted to f-ing see him ever again either. I was 17 years old. My mom was out of town - I got in my car, drove back to my mom's house, locked the doors and spent the rest of the weekend alone. He tried to call, tried to come over - I ignored all of it. It was weeks before I would even talk to him.
I can NOT imagine treating my children the way I was treated. I know I make my own mistakes with them, but at least they feel safe, respected and loved.
Bodhi, the sad part in this is, the same way you were terrified of your father (walking on land mines), I was terrified of my mother.
When she used to say "Bring me your school books because I want to see if you did your homework", I used to go to the washroom and be sick to my stomach.
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I also had the same mom.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Thank you for your words of encouragement and your story.
Nolove... I'm one of the women you are
Reading these stories really reminds me how important it is for us to break the cycle with our kids. My dad was the abusive one in my past. I was also spanked with a belt - he even would make me go get it. I was thumped many times on the head with his middle finger. I think the verbal and the emotional abuse was worse though. It got a lot worse for me after my brother died my parents got divorced. I was scared to death of him. Anything could set him off - I used to compare it to walking in a field of land mines. When I think back, it's almost laughable - I didn't clean something to his liking once and he told me to "get the F out of his house".
Like you Garfy, it finally took me standing my ground for it to somewhat stop. I was helping him move - carrying things WAY too heavy for my small frame - but he didn't care. I dropped something and he told me "my heart wasn't into helping him and he never wanted to f-ing see me again". I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I never wanted to f-ing see him ever again either. I was 17 years old. My mom was out of town - I got in my car, drove back to my mom's house, locked the doors and spent the rest of the weekend alone. He tried to call, tried to come over - I ignored all of it. It was weeks before I would even talk to him.
I can NOT imagine treating my children the way I was treated. I know I make my own mistakes with them, but at least they feel safe, respected and loved.
Bodhi
Bodhi, the sad part in this is, the same way you were terrified of your father (walking on land mines), I was terrified of my mother.
When she used to say "Bring me your school books because I want to see if you did your homework", I used to go to the washroom and be sick to my stomach.
Thank you for sharing your stories girls.
Nolove, they have no idea.
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