My story...felt I should share it but did it in the wrong place so I am copying it here...

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
My story...felt I should share it but did it in the wrong place so I am copying it here...
5
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 11:54pm
There is absolutely no justifying my A and what I have done to betray my H. I will wholeheartedly admit that this A stemmed from a huge inner rebellion within my soul, fueled by anger against H (he is a wonderful, humble man who has never abused me or caused me harm in any way), but his lack of financial goals, planning, and a lack of excitement in the bedroom pushed me into being a vulnerable target for xAP. XAP appeared to be "just a lonely guy, in need of a good friend". Well, that's a "Christian" thing to do, right? Be a good friend. I could do that. Be a friend. And more...more than I ever bargained for. But I kept making stupid excuses for staying with him. Pushing off the guilt that choked me to the very core...after having slept with xAP at his apt while my entire family was out of town...waking up with xAP knowing that my H was going to call me any minute and say "good morning, honey. I miss you." oh, Lord. Sometimes I would actually say to myself "WHO is this woman? What have I become? And now...I am free. Yes, it feels good to say that. And Amber, if you are reading this, though I cannot say I understand everything about your situation with your H wanting you to go to confession with him sitting with you, I can say that I personally struggle with going to confession. I am not Catholic, but Eastern Orthodox. And we view confession as a Sacrament. I feel badly that I haven't gone yet, but here is the thing - my husband is the PRIEST. Yep. So, truly I have not been the "good" priest's wife. A very flawed one who is struggling to get better. And by God's grace, I will come around and receive that complete forgiveness. I also do not hate xAP. Not at all. Thanks for listening, everyone. Hearts<3 (I still really need encouragement from you all since I am still a newbie!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Yowza! Your husband is the priest! Not to make light but you've got yourself in a pickle. ;)

Seriously though, I can totally identify with the rebellion thing. I was always the good girl my sister was the wild one. I married a safe guy. For all the right reasons. (He's no priest) I hit my mid thirties and went a little crazy! Also AP is just an emotional conundrum for me tough on the outside and soft on the inside and he'd flip it! I was determined to see what made him tick. I was going to make him so happy..,. Nothing else did. What a lucky guy!

What a lucky guy in deed. He got all the perks. But I dont hate him either. Heck, just spent the whole day in a funk missing him.

Anyway... Very interesting story. Thank you so much for sharing. Don't mean to poke fun. I'm exhausted and a little punchy. Is there anyone else to confess to? A different priest in another church maybe?

I'm a newbie too. Just one month out. Total NC., though today i was willing him to fish. I wont. Hang in there!! They say it gets better!! ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009

Wow. Thank you for sharing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010

Heartsofsix, just hang in there sweetie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009

Hey Heart..I don't think I have

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3