narcissists

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
narcissists
15
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 10:18pm
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Edited 1/3/2010 8:13 pm ET by classy01

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
In reply to: classy01
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 10:30pm

OMGoodness I was just asking a question about this. I suspect that this is My XAP! I know that there is no closure to these sorts of things but at least I will let go of what is bugging me and that is the rejection. I noticed that with XAP when things got a little much he was more distant. The more I would question him on his behavior he became more distant. He has now moved on to another. OUCH that really hurt me. She is such a pretty girl. We actually look similar. Similar features that is. So i have been told. Anyway.. you know what thoughts make me crazy.. and this is so self absorbed I KNOW.. is what if this girl has what it takes to win his heart and my years on him for nothing but a warm body for him. He always told me that he will find someone to love as his R is awful. Actually I recall one thing he said and it stayed with me was his next W will give him what he wants someone like him mom. I HAVE GONE burzurk with these Thoughts. Today is so hard.

Sorry I went OFF on your post. BUt it is a great post and it is a good idea to understand fully what exactly we are up against.

Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them.
--Shawn Alexander
Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
In reply to: classy01
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 10:37pm

great article...great post!!! this is my exAP!!! I wish I could send this to him!! OH my....this is simply him ...wow, scary. it does help. seems the attributes of narcissists and sociopaths go hand and hand....wow, good stuff!!! Oh how I wish I could send it to him, even anonymously!!
But he will know it is me.... gosh darn....i know he would know it was me as we departed, I told him these things...oh well NC=No new hurts...so I will just use this as motivation to stay the hell away.

why would i want this type of person to be a part of my life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
In reply to: classy01
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 10:41pm
LMAO!!! I was thinking the EXACT same thing.. I so wanted to email it to him sooooo BAD!!! hahahahaha. thanks for the laugh!
Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them.
--Shawn Alexander
Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
In reply to: classy01
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 10:47pm
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Edited 1/3/2010 7:50 pm ET by classy01
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
In reply to: classy01
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 10:56pm

Thank you! For making me realize that this is not about ME and what I did wrong!!

I am really starting to understand this man. He always would cry his sob stories to me. I would always feel so bad for him. My heart would feel for him. What I dont understand about this and this is the only piece to the puzzle I cant place right now is... he loves his family and he loves his daughters so much. HOW CAN HE BE THIS PERSON???

You know something.. I am lucky to have found the strength to get away!

Did I say thank you :) I really mean that! I feel some peace. Forgot what that felt like!

Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them.
--Shawn Alexander
Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
In reply to: classy01
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 11:08pm
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Edited 1/3/2010 7:53 pm ET by classy01
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
In reply to: classy01
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 11:18pm
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Edited 1/3/2010 7:54 pm ET by classy01
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
In reply to: classy01
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 11:21pm
I only wish my xAP fell in this category. Would make ending the A a hundred times easier. I think i'm the one with unresolved issues..craving the attention.. not him. Does it even matter..A's are bad and that is that. Am i right?

Sunshine


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Sunshine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
In reply to: classy01
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 11:39pm

Yes, you are right

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
In reply to: classy01
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 11:49pm

Caribu,


i totally see myself in your description of craving attention from men. I don't know why i'm like that but i am. I wanted the loving words and affection. And my H's words are no longer enough. They used to be when we first met and for a couple of years. They were rought years, we went back and forth (we were very young) and at that time i was crazy about him. But now after 6 yrs of being together full time (M for 1.5 yrs) i'm just not getting my "fix" from him. I love him. but i don't get that fix. So i looked otuside my M and i found it. And it was me who started the A. It was me who kept it going. That's why i feel guilty for ending it. But i have no chocie.


I guess the main thing to realize, for me and you both, is that we don't NEED it. We like it, yes. but we don't need it.


Sunshine

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