NC 4 mths, fishing attempt. Support pls

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
NC 4 mths, fishing attempt. Support pls
5
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 6:05pm

It has been a while since I have posted on this board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 7:17pm

Amy,


I am sorry that happened to you. If you think about it, nothing has changed except for time. I think it is dangerous to look for meaning in any of it because even if there is any "meaning". it is wrong to have an affair. Any contact to find out why he is contacting you etc would be wrong. You ended your affair. Let it stay ended. YOU hold that power. If you start the affair up again, you have NO ONE to blame but yourself,


Yes it is jolting when we hear from them. Hell, I had someone fish a whole year later and yes it startled me, made me think about things for awhile etc...but I didn't acquiesce to it. Nothing good long term would come of it. I won't give that dignity up that I've worked on getting back. NOPE, no matter how I feel. I will get what I need legitimately or not at all. Period. End of Story. For me. That is the committment I've made myself.


I am single and it would be VERY easy for me to have my needs met. That is what all this is ya know...our ego needs, our sexual needs, our human needs. Surely I can do better for myself as there once was a time, I'd never consider it. I can get that strength back ...regardless of history or someone fishing momentarily.


I am glad to see you are being strong. Your question was about worrying about what he is capable of doing. You cannot control what he does but I will tell you one thing, ignoring is the best possible thing you can do...you do NOTHING. There is more of a chance that he will fade away than showing him that he got your attention.


I know you cared for him, that makes it harder but it is only you who can decide how you live your life so take what I say for what you can use and discard the rest.


Strength and wisdome and clarity to you,


Lizzie




Edited 11/29/2009 7:19 pm ET by lizzie1965
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 8:00pm

I'm with Lizzie on this one.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 8:12pm
i too am with lizzie....keep your dignity. keep moving. you will be stronger as time goes by...does it matter what he wants? what could matter? matter enough to change your position? that was a bold move and he expects a reaction. don't give it to him. i will you much strength and support
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 8:38pm

Thanks Ladies!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 10:09pm

Echoing all the others.


If you give in to his fishing what will you gain? Disappointment...nothing more and nothing less.


Stay strong and do nothing.


Big hug,


Kristin