NC to LC

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
NC to LC
2
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 11:46am

After almost 5 weeks of NC, xAP is back to work..I ended the A when he went for his vacation. I just..couldn't do it anymore. For quite a while i knew it had to end, but i didn't have the courage to end it. So i strung him along, lied to him that nothing has changed. Meanwhile i knew that the end was coming.


During NC i felt okay. I felt free. Focused on my H. For the first time since our wedding i've actually been able to focus on him. My A is longer than my M.. talk about twisted.


So now that he is here..it is very hard. He looks awful. He looks like a truck ran him over. This is not how a man should look after 5 weeks away from work. I feel awful.


How am i going to get through this...

Sunshine


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Sunshine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 4:31pm

Hey Sunshine,


Maybe this will help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 6:12pm

Hi Sunshine- I want to second what CSN said. I too had to deal with my xap falling apart each time I ended things. It tore my heart out so I went back, even though doing so tore mine out. This times, it's about you. It's natural for us to feel bad, but just keep reminding yourself what a dead end that is. Just keep reminding yourself that as each day passes, not only do you heal, but he does as well. NC/LC is a gift, not a punishment, though it may look and feel like it in the first few days/weeks/months. Hang tough. Tap into your strength folder. Keep reading here.

Hugs,

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/