Need advice, I was betrayed...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2003
Need advice, I was betrayed...
3
Fri, 01-16-2004 - 10:01am
I'm not sure if I should even be on this board. I frequent the Healing after betrayal board!

My BF cheated on me in April of last year. We were only together for about two months when he did, and he had just ended a marriage. He slept with his STBX once, and I can tell that he is truly sorry for what he did.

I guess what I'd really like to know is can cheating really only be a one time thing? I'm still very hurt over this, and am still afraid to trust him.

Also, he said that it wasn't about sex, and had nothing to do with anything that I'd done. Can anyone else agree with that?

I really am sorry if I'm over-stepping my boundaries here, but I really didn't know where else to go.
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The WeatherPixie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 01-16-2004 - 3:57pm

Welcome, KP.


I suppose Technically you're on the wrong board, since you're the person who was cheated on by an affair participant, however, your questions raise issues that most BSs tend to get tunnel vision on and refuse to acknowledge other possibilities, so I'm going to answer your questions from my perspective as a former affair participant......


"I guess what I'd really like to know is can cheating really only be a one time thing? I'm still very hurt over this, and am still afraid to trust him. Also, he said that it wasn't about sex, and had nothing to do with anything that I'd done. Can anyone else agree with that? "


cl-NRE: I believe that cheating can be a one time thing,particularly when it is during a break-up of a relationship or marriage. While your post doesn't mention how long your BF and his stbx were married,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2003
Fri, 01-16-2004 - 5:26pm
Thank you so much for your help. It is very much appreciated.

Sometimes it helps to have an outside person help you make sense of things!

Again, thank you.

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The WeatherPixie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Sat, 01-17-2004 - 10:18am
Kungfupuff, if you are in need of support or a few venting sessions, you'll find a warm welcome at the betrayed spouses support group