Need advice ladies

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Need advice ladies
16
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 3:12pm
Ex AP and I have a mutual friend. We were talking one day and I hinted that I slept with him. I never came right out and told her. Why did I hint? I don't know, I've never told anyone about us. Maybe I thought I'd feel better if I somewhat confessed? Anyway, she went and told him that I hinted we had slept together and of course he denied it to her. He got pissed at me and we had a huge fight. We've since made up (no sex) He said he was sorry and that he trusts me. Of course, I look like an a** and a liar. I haven't talked to her since he told me, but I heard through the grapevine that she thinks I make stuff up. Should I call her and talk to her about it? He told me not to because it'll look guilty and then she will know that we've slept together. I don't know what to do....he sees her frequently on a professional/business level.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 3:15pm

Let it go....period.


I'm confused...is your A over?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 3:36pm
Yes, it is. I still have to see him though because I watch his toddler son 3x a week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 4:37pm

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 9:21am

No, I broke NC and called him. I just wanted to talk to him. Stupid, right?

Honestly, I don't want to write too much on these boards because you never know who's reading them. I don't go into much detail because of that. This whole situation is hard because even though the A has ended, our children are still friends,we live in the same town, know the same people, etc...so even though we're not having it anymore, I still have to deal with all that other "stuff".

I have no problem going into more detail through a PM message.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 9:34am

Jilly,


Do not give your friend one more ounce of XMM info. Perhaps not speaking to her for a bit will help to strengthen your resolve. She will only try to pry more info out of you for her own curious pleasure, and you don't need the stress right now of having to watch every word you say. AND...no more personal conversations with XMM, Okay? Keep your LC strictly business and this will send him a message louder than any words/explanation ever could. You have to

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 3:20pm

Hi Jilly,


I understand your hesitation to write details on a public board. I use to feel the same way when I first started posting.


The only PM

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 3:50pm
Unless you want to get caught then you need to suck it up and be known as a liar amongst certain "friends".
Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 7:27pm

Thanks E1....I might take you up on that.

Why am I so STUPID? Today I went to his house to babysit. His laptop was on the counter and my curiousity got the best of me. I checked the history on it....he's been to f***book.com, yahoo personals, and match.com. I find the yahoo and match.com funny because he's neither seperated nor divorced yet. He still lives with the W. Wonder what he's telling the ladies. Also, so much for him not wanting any more affairs. THEN (stupid me) bring up the mutual friend. Then I tell him our A is a still a secret and I'm discreet even if I was going to have another A, to which he said: "Then I guess you're not very discreet telling me about it." (I'm not having another A BTW)

Part of me wants to call him now and clarify things and part of me would love to tell him to...well you can fill in the blank! Now I feel like crap again and I said I wouldn't say anything to him when he got home.

When will I EVER learn??!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 7:45pm

<>


No point in asking us that. It's all up to you and how much finger burning you can take everytime you touch that hot stove. Did you even read my reply to you in this thread? Hmmmmm...looks like it might have been ignored. ;-)

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 8:54pm

Girl, where in the hell is your dignity?

Onward and upward.

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