Need to ask just to satisfy my mind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Need to ask just to satisfy my mind.
3
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 7:14pm

A couple of days ago, I thought I saw XMM and his car at my work place (or close to the area). He had made contact with me that day, dropping the usual hints of wanting to see me. (I told him no). Anyway I happened to look out my window and thought it was his car, never actually seeing him. Anyway, the next day he called me and I asked him if he was close by and his response was this.......Yes, how did you know? I told him I saw his car and he seemed suprised. I got angry and told him that he could have atleast come by and say hi. He gave me a line of...he didn't know if any of my co-workers were close and didn't want to get me in trouble, blah,blah,blah. I told him that didn't matter, it would have been nice of him to do it. Our conversation ended with me angry. After that he called again and i was very cold to him. While I was at lunch he called my cell phone 3 times, which I did not answer, (he rarely does that). Then when I got back to work he called me at work again and indicated that he had tried to call, Told him I know, while still being cold. He even eventually asked me if I was mad at him for something. While on my way home he again called my cell, which by that time I was fuming cause I feel I was lied to big time. He told me that it was not him there and the car must have looked like his and that he would have had to come up and spoke to me. I do not believe that at all cause he never has as of yet, (why start now???) He always come to the area on weekends or nights,(when it's handy for him). I truly think if it was not him, he would have spoke up sooner than when he did, like as soon as I asked him instead of waiting till the end of the day to say it wasn't him. I think he thought of excuses to tell me and act like it was all funny. So I would not be mad.

I feel he lied to me and thought he could come around and me not know it and not have to explain way he was there, but never was able to take time to come take me to lunch or anything.

Just needed to unload my anger. Thanks for listening. Oh and YES I know it should not even matter!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 9:56pm

an xMM or MM who sneaks around and lies? ::shock::

hehe (ok i know its not funny to you...)
Seriously tho,
not real sure why you are so angry if he is an xMM or why you expect him to just walk in and take you to lunch...contradictory to me. I would imagine if he is an xMM, that he would be cautious about approaching you if he did indeed come by because of an impulse he had. He lied to you. They do that when they need to defend stuff ya know, they are practiced at it...and yes...even if you are not their wife.

Yes, it happened to me, and yes, I too, thought I was immune to it. Foolish me, good lesson, never to be repeated.....evah.
Lizzie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 4:43pm

Lizzie, Thanks for your reply. I am angry with XMM because I have greatly reduced my communication with him and he is still trying to convince me that he is in love with me and I am an important person in his life and I guess with him being in the area close, it was a good time to prove to me those words he so freely speaks. In all honesty, I know it's all talk and no action, just like other MM in affairs.

I don't know your story but maybe you can share with me tips for strength on moving forward with life - away from the make believe world of an affair.

P.S. I think I should have titled this post - "Need to vent just to get it out of my system"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 5:40pm
fresh sunshine, I sure know about all talk and no action as well as lies..and the only way to truly move on, I am learning is to end all contact. There is so much more to life than a man you have to share, or sneak around with. So many wonderful things, and the negativity that goes with an EMA, I believe, clouds it forever. I just don't know how it can be wonderful to later on say "I had an EMA and ended up with someone else's husband" etc. You said you have lessened contact, but maybe having none would truly help you to move on? I have even deleted my ex MM's email address from my address book, and all the emails ever written me or by me.. truly am done.