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| Thu, 05-06-2004 - 3:41pm |
So i write him back a brief note about some important job changes in my future and ask him if a date i've selected would be good for him for our end of season coaches meeting (to go over the season).
It's now been 2 days and i haven't heard back. I know i am not supposed to care, but obviously i still do. Just go ahead and tell me he REALLY isn't interested in getting back to me, right?
I am somehow supposed to believe he is sooooo busy. This is a man who used to spend hours talking to me on the phone from his office, emails his high school friends (he is 42, now) daily about sports as if they were instant messaging; and during playoffs and the like, he closes his office door and conference calls all his friends to "watch" the play by play on-line together.
I think because we have never had an "official" end of our A or a true and honest conversation about NC, this is his way of telling me: you are not going to hear from me often. He is just so cowardly that he cannot come out and really say it.
I know, i am not supposed to care. but i do. I am still counting the days until baseball season ends--i go to Paris, am terribly busy with summer plans and i can be thru with him--at least until his kid shows up at my kids' school. That will be a whole other ballgame--and i will deal with that, when September comes.
Just venting. That's all. Hate that i try and be nice to him--and then i set myself up. From Sept. to March we were friends and that worked for me. But this is a new development (talking only 1 a month or so) in our relationship--and i am just struggling to get used to it, though i know it is healthy.
One thing i know: much of my A was carried out sitting from the very chair i am in now, in my home office: on the phone and on this computer. I absolutely have to get away from this place. So i have firmly decided i am giving up my freelance writing career--am going to take on this new job opportunity or go back and write for the company i used to--in their offices. Every single day, i am reminded of the A sitting in this office--and i just can't take it anymore.
Clarice
