Need help to get thru this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2008
Need help to get thru this!
2
Sun, 08-30-2009 - 2:58pm

My AP ended our 1 1/2 year affair just days after my birthday and buying me the most beautiful ring.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Sun, 08-30-2009 - 9:54pm
I dont believe that all men are scum and what i am thinking with your xAP is that he is missing you just as much as you are him. Even though he has a family, that doesnt mean that his feelings are any less real, just that his sense of his family obligations may supercede his feelings for you- after all his W & kids were there first.
There is a little too much man bashing here sometimes and i feel that there ARE some men that are genuine but are stuck between what they need as a living and feeling human emotionally and what is right and moral.
I have posted before that women have no problems complaining that their H wont do this or that and doesnt fulfill them, why cant a man make the same claims without being branded a liar and cheat too?
If you want to end things romantically with your AP, then by all means, stand your ground, but you have to be prepared for his feelings to be hurt just as yours are. He may have a W and kids, but you were a big part of his life too so losing you may be just as hard for him. I dont condone his to-ing and fro-ing between you and W, but he may be confused and not know what he really wants and is trying to do the *right* thing. Ultimately you must do what is right for YOU but understand there still is 2 sides to each story. Good Luck.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 12:08am

Hi FMH


It's the 'trying to remain friends' thing that keeps you engaged in an affair...an