need help with my last mail to him pls

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
need help with my last mail to him pls
13
Sun, 12-12-2004 - 7:05am

My closing letter for him, how does it sound is it too too long??? help//

hi

The idea of having someone is so that i can fall back on him when i need him.. to talk, discuss problems or even have fun with..which doesnt hapen here ..you being always too busy for me or not in the mood or wahtever.. yes you are that way and wont change, i am not asking you to change or asking you for anything no more.. you can keep your narcissistic ways to yourself or choose someone elses feelings to play around with i dont give a damn either ways.

this kind of relationship is not what i am looking for, we just dont
see eye to eye and it makes no sense honestly speaking
.. we will survive it, you have many friends who are anyways more imp than me and i have my family and friends who will see me thru. i made u an imp part of my life, but i cannot sacrifice my self worth for you. i am much too special for that, to others who really care about and cherish me. i will not risk things for ur sake anymore, considering that i always get the short end of the stick where you are concerned.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
Sun, 12-12-2004 - 8:54pm

HI Pal,

Wiggle room is what drags the A on and on, it gives the OM total control becasue he uses certain sentences in the letter that he knows will make u break down and take him back.

This is what friends here on the boards told me and finally I posted the letter I had written in this string -this one was basically much smaller than others i had written before and which didnt work to ending it all but rather to weepy make up sessions which only threw me back deeper into the A.

Posie guided me through, suporting me and i finall did it, send out the letter and I feel really relieved that i have taken control of the situation.

~~~It's been 5 days with NC. I'm feeling good that I haven't tried to contact him. I feel like it's giving me back some power that I lost. Now just convince me that it's best not to give in when he contacts me.~~~

You are doing great, and when he does try to contact you just be strong and DO not cave in to his sweet talk or do not let him make you feel guilty. That is what I have decided to do, and eerytime i feel blue i just come and read and write on these boards and i get strong all over again.

Wish you the best and lots of strength pal.
Trish
:-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 12-12-2004 - 9:30pm

The easiest way not to cave is not to have any sort of conversation with him, remember you owe him NOTHING, he involved himself with a married woman who was at a bad place in here marriage for a while and he did so for his gratification not out of some undieing love, when your are someoned friend or ig you have genuine love for them you do not induce them to be involved in things that will only do them harm, you don't involve them in LIEING SNEAKING OR CHEATING or any of the rest of the crap that is involved in cheating on your spouse and family.

You don't owe him one word of explanation politness or one other damn thing. If he wanted it done it would be done and he would not give it a second thought he would simply walk away.

JMHO

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
Sun, 12-12-2004 - 11:59pm
Hi Free
I guess that was meant for me or Pal or both and thanks .. I will go for the advice in ur post, it makes loads of sense..
You have really helped Free with all the support from your side, and always replying to my posts.. thanks .. i "stopped" just as u told me to :-)
Best wishes
Trish

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