Need help---so close to breaking NC
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Need help---so close to breaking NC
| Mon, 12-14-2009 - 12:44pm |
My xAP went NC without warning 20 days ago. The last contact was his usual missing you, loving you and since then, nothing. I wasn't ready for it to be over but have since accepted it and realized it is the best thing and can now see how destructive and awful I was to myself and family.
My problem now is that while I haven't contacted him at all, I am really struggling to not do it now because I want to know why.

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free,
When you described your "weird place" of feeling happy, sad, up, down...I've been there too, I think we all have! but I think I've moved out of it now. I'm on day 20 something of NC and have had those same moments of feeling grateful that its over and strong to maintain NC, and then the next moment, I'm in tears and want to break NC badly!! I think you are amazing for keeping NC when he broke it off suddenly. Stay STRONG! Someone awesome on this board wrote "MAKE NC YOUR BITCH, OWN IT." That is my favotie mantra now!!
beautiful,
I broke it off the same way you did - we had a nice conversation (via email) and had plans to go to NYC and then a couple hours later, I was emailing him that I was done and never heard anything back. I had been thinking about ending it for a while but surprised myself to do it at that moment. I'm not sure if I was really ready for it but it's not like there's ever a good time to end it. BUT sometimes I wished I had gotten one last "fix."
And even though I'm the one that suddenly broke it off, I still wonder why he never tried to contact me back. I'm sure he's wondering the same thing about you. In any situation, there will always be unanswered questions.
anyways, like others have said, it's time to focus on YOU :)
We're VERY much in the same place, only it sounds like my A has been over a couple of weeks longer than yours. My A was also mostly "cyber"... there were a couple of physical mtgs.
My A only lasted 10 weeks, and I'm struggling BIG TIME some days...have also wondered why this "blip" has thrown me into a tailspin. Excellent posts above, so I won't repeat, but wanted you to know you're not alone. I started T this week, and plan on spending entire next session on why I'm "stuck" over something that was over almost as quickly as it started. I let him in to the core of my soul...and I'll be DANGED if I can't get him out :(
((HUGS)) Hang in there...seems it's a pretty common thing for us enders to have sane days, and NOT so sane days :)
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