Need input on something

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Need input on something
2
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 5:10pm
I 've already been here posted a few and heard all the responses on why not to start an affair. And that we should try to figure out what it is that is missing in our relationships. Alittle recap I have lost all physicle desire for my husband and I don't feel that I love him as I should. And thats been going on for at least six yrs. basically i give in to his needs once a week, he would like me to be more affectionate toward him but thats just not how I feel. anyways other than that hes a good provider and a good father to our boys. I have not had an affair because the young man that I like and he also likes me won't cross the line. Sooooooooo I've been trying to figure out why it is that I feel this way toward him, and bingo I think, about 6 or 7 yrs ago we were coming home from the airport after a very long day, we went to Florida for vacation and went to a water park before the airport to go home. any ways like I said we were on our way home and we got into an argument and he reached over and slapped me on the leg with such anger. I remember I was so hurt. Now I'm wondering if I never forgave him for that and that is why I feel little respect for him and less love for him. and now that it has gome on for so long I cant seem to get it back.. also as far as I can see I don't care how mad you get you just dont hit someone you Love! maybe I cant get past that.

any input on this would be appreciated
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 5:21pm
Deb

I have done some reading on violence in marriage as well as having lived with some, the effects are just as you discribe them, sounds like you have hit the nail on the head.

A GOOD IC could help you to deal with the unresolved emotional issues, when they are dealt with you may find that you have a great deal more feelings for your husband then you think you do or that getting them back will be easier then you think.

It sounds like your husband would like to fix things to get his wives love back, I say it is worth looking into before you run into some man that does not have a sense of honor they way this young man does.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 5:28pm
I'm not sure I want to go back, I feel so much resentment toward him and for so long now. And I am just not sure I can go back. But thanks for your input I think I mite have finally figured out the why after all this time.