Need some info

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Need some info
15
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 11:16am
Can anyone here tell me anything thing about investigators.

I really have the need to know the truth about what MM is doing. I can't do the job myself. This idea just came to me this morning. I have no idea what the cost would be. I looked in the yellow pages, there are investigators that will give you a free consultation. I don't know if it's on the up and up.

I would appreciate ANY information that you can share. ALSO, I posted this somewhere else. I just don't know where. I could have sworn I was logged into this board, but guess I wasn't. If anyone sees it please let me know.

Thanks in advance

Secret

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 12:34pm
I feel so bad for you I have been in my A with MM for 4 years and in those 4 years my situation is so similiar to yours. The lies, the games, the pain, the other women besides the wife and myself, and let me tell you first hand, I have followed him MYSELF and all I do is get hurt more and more and confirm what I already thought, it is not worth the pain or THE MONEY, to confirm what you already know and feel in your heart. It hurts so bad to walk away and then when you do you question if you are doing the right thing. I have been for years why do you think I always go back. I KNOW in my heart there is no future with my MM, even if he left his wife, I do not want to always WONDER if he is lying, live with the constant insecurities, life is to short to live that way. I want to be with a man when he tells me he loves me I believe it, when he tells me he is at the store I know he is, I do not have to check up on him. I so feel your pain I have been going through it and I am trying so hard to end it with MM and it is hard 4 years is a long time we were friends for 5 years before the A, so the thought of a man who has been in my life every day for 9 years totally being OUT of my life scares me, but the thought of living the way I have lived for the last 4 years for the REST of my life scares me even more. Good luck!!I hope this did not come out wrong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 1:31pm
Oh no, your post did not come off wrong. All I can say is I TOTALLY know how you feel. The thought of living this way for the rest of my life scares me.

I was sitting here at work, and thought I have to do this for myself. I need once and for all to know the truth. MM, sure isn't the one to give it to me. Every word out of his mouth is a lie.

I would sink my life savings into an investigator. That could get pictures, tell me where MM is going, who he is seeing, I want to know when he goes to the bathroom to take a pis. I think that is the only way I could free myself from the self infliction of toture and pain. Always wondering if my suspicions are right. Seeing is believing.

I've tried just as you have, to trail MM. You name it I've done it, dangerous things. Things that a woman on the road at night should not be doing. Sat out side vacant buildings, trying to see if his car was home, and who he left with. I even had the vision of hiding in a tree outside his house. I've been on private property just praying the owners didn't call the police for supicious behavior. I HAVE TO KNOW THE TRUTH!!!!!

I've tried calling 3 investigators. I got the numbers out of the yellow pages.......all numbers have been changed......NOT A GOOD SIGN!!!! The money that I'm putting into this is all the money I have in this world. I don't want it get taken. I don't know anyone to ask for a referral. I was hoping I would have a greater response to my post, but I guess people just don't know.

Your post was very much appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 1:56pm
If you do not mind me asking what state or you in??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 2:11pm
No, I don't mind you asking. You can ask me anything, that you think will help me get out of this mess I have created for myself. I live in Dallas, Texas.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 2:48pm
http://www.infidelity.com Have you tried this site??
Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 3:20pm
i have experience in this department unfortunately.

I went to the phone book and tried to find licensed investigators. Alot of these guys are retired police officers, don't be afraid to ask them questions about their experience. The really good ones want the money upfront. plan on spending between 40 - 50 dollars for a decent one. Find one that bills by the hour, not one that wants 3 grand upfront. Ask if you don't use all the hours that you are paying for if you will get a refund. You can use a credit card, which is probably a good thing if you have a dispute with them or if they try and rip you off.

It wasn't until i saw it with my own eyes that I was out of denial. For me, that was what I needed even though I know that XOM was full of crap. STop following him yourself before you get yourself hurt or something. This man is driving you to insanity!!!!

Good luck.

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 3:37pm
Thanks for the information. I asked that an agent give me a call to discuss this matter in detail. We'll see what comes of this investigation. I'm am very sure this is what I want to do.

Thanks for you help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 3:48pm
Gosh, I've already gotten a response from an agent. He suggested that I put a surveillance on MM. The cost of a surveillance is a little more than I have to spend. I'm going to try to get a loan. I want this information bad. I'll let you know how it turns out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 4:26pm
How can I be sure that I'm not getting ripped off. They asked for a retainer in the abmount of $550. They want to put a surveillance on MM. I just don't want to get ripped off. I'm not sure what to do. If you have any idea, please let me know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 4:51pm
How about a credit card, I know credit cards offer some type of guarentee of satisfaction, do they accepts credit cards. also get their license number check their referneces here in CA we can check the better business bureau....let me do a little more research on my end, do you have a regular email, I do not want to post mine on here,I know some have one with this screen name mine is not, do not pay anything till we call some more places and get other estimates k?? You cannot afford to throw away money on top of everything else

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