need to stop
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need to stop
| Sun, 06-05-2005 - 8:08pm |
I need to stop doing what I'm doing but I can't. What I'm doing doesn't even make sense and I know it but yet I keep doing it. He told me two months ago...no more. But I keep pursuing. I work with him so I see him everyday. I wear tight clothes and try to rub against him or get his attention. Sometimes it works...I get a comment..sometimes not. I send him notes and even a video now and then. He responds to those with a wide eyed look and a "thanks, that was great". He has a rough day and I give him a card and a gift bag with things I know will perk him up. He responds by throwing a "thank you" to me as he walks by my office. I need to stop...why can't I? I'm very confused. Can anyone shed some light?

Yes. Its very simple. He ended it and you feel used and want the control back. You feel hurt and betrayed and don't understand how he could act so nice to you and be so into you and all of a sudden totally change and act like he doesn't care at all. I bet too that it was he who was the pursuer and it was you who was reluctant to start this and when he finally had you hooked on him, he started pulling back and you starting getting obsessed. So you can't stop pursuing him because deep down you wish you had the opportunity to be the one to end it or never get involved in the first place. Am I close?
Guys like this are very predictable. I would bet you that if all of a sudden you 100% stop talking to him, emailing him, flirting with him he may show a new interest in you - to which you will then have the opportunity to tell him to leave you alone.
Or maybe he wants to just devote himself to his marriage which though hurts like hell and feels unfair to you, is something you should respect.
Bottom line - gather your self respect together, leave him alone, and just stop. Eventually you may persuade him to sleep with you again and then he will probably return to his position and you will feel 1000% worse than you do now. Just don't go there.
JMHO,
Ivy
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This hits home with me ...this is my story right here.. 100%... i was reluctant.. he kept at me.. for 4 months before we met.. he totally persued me.. didnt want to go there made every excuse in the book to not meet up with him ... but i did .. and well here i am...after the first meeting things changed 180!! thanks for posting this.. this helps open my eyes even more... the more i read stuff like this.. the more it helps put things in prespective.... espically since the chance of running into him this weekend is about 90%... i want to be strong if i do see him and totally blow him off ... thanks for posting this !! WAM
another reason to stop is that because you are at work..and now pursuing him relentlessly....and his wife finds out or something with work screws up...you could be charged with harrassment. IT CAN HAPPEN to females ya know.
you are ...in a sense...harrassing him ..he may be nice about it with the "thank you's" but its really hard to be direct and short with someone especially if there is a PAST.
Its in the past...you are starting to make yourself look like a fool and quite possibly a lil psychotic. I COMMEND you for being honest in your telling of the story here and not sugar coating or lying about whats happened. That shows me a GREAT DEAL that you want to stop and that you know why you should Sbassa.
please end this behavior before you find yourself in more trouble than you wished for.
:Hugs:
Lizzie