Need strength please
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|Sat, 04-28-2012 - 11:43pm|
Where do I begin? My story sounds oh so similar which makes me feel all the more foolish that I fell hard and fast for all the lies. But he's not solely to blame..I was a willing particpant as well. And I'm ready to get off of this chaotic ride.
It all started 2 months ago..we met at work, and we just "clicked." We had the friendly banter back and forth..then the next thing you know, I'm confessing my feelings for him and he reciprocates. Before I know it, we're in an EA..then just last wk, it turned into a full blown PA. All in 2 months time. I'm sitting here so guilt ridden, torn and broken. I hate the fact that I allowed myself to fall for every word he said. For every line he fed me. I hate that. I hate that I settled for crumbs as we're both married with familes of our own. I hate that I went down this dark path and now I'm fighting my way through the darkness, trying to get out.
We're two broken people who stroked each others egos. Filled the voids in our lives with toxic gunk. Still wanting more. Still hurting people in the midst of our selfishness. I don't know how to end it..in person or via email? I work with him. that's even worse. See him everyday. Stupid mistake.
I don't know how to go about it..i'm so lost in my thinking now..emotions are at a all time high with crying spells due to the guilt..I can't think straight. But I know I want out. I can't settle for crumbs. I can't stand the person staring back at me in the mirror. I don't even recognize them anymore. The reality of it all is that it wasn't a reality at all. Just lies. And that hurts. I know the pain will get worse before it gets better but i need to end this. Now.