Need Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2011
Need Support
41
Fri, 01-28-2011 - 3:18pm

I am married with a toddler and I have been having an affair with my boss, who is also married with two small children. We started as friends and we have been having an affair for five years. Recently, we finally had sex, before that it was everything but.

In any case, we hang out on weekends with our families, etc. It's very involved. We never discussed leaving our spouses and w never really discussed feelings or issues either. Last week I asked him why he didn't kiss me more,well I guess that freaked him out and basically said he wanted to end things. Which after a week of talking and talking and trying to figure out what to do, who to be friends without all the other stuff.

Now he wants us to just be friends and give us a week a two without all the physical stuff to cloud our judgment. Of course, I should be happy but I am not. I am terrified that its the end. That we will never have

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 12:34pm
The only condition of your relationship is that he is your boss and you are his employee. There are no conditions to discuss. Total professionalism is what it has to be now. This is not a normal relationship that soured...it's an A that never should have started.

Good for you going for a walk. Yes, it is exhausting avoiding him, but this is the price you have to pay for crossing the line. I know...I've lived it for almost 7 years. I went home exhausted every night for a very long time. The good news is that it will ease up once the A gunk/fog has cleared the area.....we're talking at least a few months before you will notice some relief, so try to be patient. I know, easier said than done, but the only road out of a workplace A is either finding new employment or having to fake it till you make it.

((Hugs))
Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha

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