Need tools/book references...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Need tools/book references...
5
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 11:27pm

Hi all



Ok so its Day 3, still very sad and I am trying hard not to think about him/this/what i did etc.



I realise that it was the attention that really did it for me. I am lucky (I guess) that my A had become so lame the last few months (because he was sooo busy) that I can see that I dont really miss his 'friendship' or even the sex.



But I do miss the atention and the thought that I had someone who wanted me.



So my question is- what books/sites etc can you guys recommend to help me explore this a bit more. I so desperately want to heal.



Thanis in advance,



Iggy xx

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Sat, 09-11-2010 - 12:17pm
The book "After the Affair" by Dr. Shirley Glass.
Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2009
Sat, 09-11-2010 - 12:19pm

Hi Iggy :)

One of my favorite websites for getting my head straight--aside from this awesome board--is called BaggageReclaim.com. (www.baggagereclaim.com). It's a blog written by a woman in the UK who is a GENIUS when it comes to understanding unhealthy relationships, and she writes from her own experience as an OW and as a woman who was attracted to "a**clowns" (her word) for many years.

She's also written an e-book on the importance of No Contact, and one of the most helpful things she offers is about 3 months worth of e-mails that will show up in your inbox periodically to cheer you on and remind you of why No Contact is necessary. Those emails have been a life-saver for me . . . it's amazing how I'll be struggling with something, and the next email that shows up addresses that EXACT struggle!

I have spent hours on her site, reading and rereading blog posts and comments from other readers--you can also find her on Facebook, and she'll post good insights and comments there, as well.

The woman is brilliant when it comes to knowing the types of men we got involved with AND what could possibly be so broken in us that we allowed ourselves to even go there with them.

Hope that helps a bit,

Juliette

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sat, 09-11-2010 - 9:43pm

Juliette-
I just LOVED her video on No Contact and I hope everyone will take a moment to go there and at least listen to the video, if not buy the ebook.

Good recommendation.

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 12:06am
It just feels sort of adrift, doesn't it, Iggy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 3:52am

Juliette- thank you- I am going to that site right now- I'll buy what I need to buy and subscribe to anythng!



Janie- the stupid thing is that evry day that goes by (Im only on Day 5 mind you) I am glorifying him more and more! Ugh- God I hope this stage passes soon. He'll be the Pope with Brad Pitt looks in another 3 days. UGH!!



Iggyxx

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do