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| Sat, 12-12-2009 - 12:15pm |
My ex married man is going around telling people, friends n family that I am a crazy stalker n that I am obsessed. I have not broken NC at all. Not in the slightest. He is bad mouthing me to strangers, mutual friends, his wife etc...it's really sad. It really hurts. I been at just over a week no contact n last we spoke it was I love you, I always will..
It's a new girl he is seeing he is telling this crazy stuff about me. Like me, she doesn't know he is married. We have mutual friends, what a small small world. He is on to his next victim, and that is fine, but why does he have to bad mouth me so.
My friend heard him say all these horrible things about me that simply are not true. I guess it's good to impress the new girl. It hurts. This hurts bad enough. I have been strong. This really really brings me down. Only time I have thought of breaking no contact the only time. I just want to say so many things to Jim
i know I will likely feel worse tho..
Please help me....I am a venter n not getting this out is not allowing me to function

Sienna:
This guy's true character is showing.
Hi Sienna,
I’m sorry that you are getting word back that xAP is bashing you. I know you are angry and I’m glad you came here to vent instead of breaking NC. Let’s look at some of the options before you:
1)
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Interesting that you're experiencing some of the same fallout I did. Days before
Hi again pause,
Just like I stated on MAS, I know what you are going through. I found messages from another woman to XAP. I confronted him and he just twisted all around and told me the lamest and most farfetched lie I have ever heard. He must think I'm a complete idiot.
He then tried to make me look like the bad person. By saying i betrayed him and all this nonsense. I actually started feeling like I had done something wrong. I just saw him the other day b/c I had agreed to still be his friend. this was before the confrontation. The more I started piecing things together in my mind about what he was doing the more angry I got.
I decided that I wont even talk to him. He has broken my heart beyond belief. After all I have done for him and given him and loved him. why would this married man need a W, me and another woman. It makes no sense to me and it hurts like he**. I feel bad b/c I didnt answer his calls today and I've never done that. He has no idea that I'm doing NC b/c i didnt tell him and i feel a guilty, like i owe him an explanation. But why should i feel bad? He used me, and fooled me. But yet I still feel bad. I guess I'm just that kind of person.
I will continue on this road and I know that for both you and I and many others on here, it will get easier. I just wish that time were now
I still hurt bad. I know about so many women, so, so many. I had access to his phone records. He has spent hours talking to multiple women. He calls them right after another. The day after I broke no contact. I have seen emails. He tells them he has a stalker. and that why he has been distant lately. I was the stalker. These are old girls he is reconnecting with. some are new. There are so many. And yes he is still married. He uses me as an excuse for his absence, they eat it up, feel sorry for him etc...
He has clearly moved on. It hurts. I am fine with him moving on, just bad mouthing me to get sympathy and attention. and it works....they dont even know he is married....oh well. It hurts but I will not break no contact, it hurts so bad, but I am not going to lose it....then I will look crazy. he finally changed all his pass codes. I am so thankful. All i saw was so unbearable. I am so relieved, what i do not see or know is best. I was always checking it, getting my fix, it was my way of knowing what was going on. It was torture. It hurt. and now I am finally out of my misery. So does no contact really start today....its been over a week of NC, but I was still snooping. Maybe I should restart the timer? I need to rid myself of this,
one thing I find relief in, looking at his records, he is calling women after women after women, different women, its like he is trying to occuoy his time with them. that was time we talked etc....
it is funny cuz when he cant get a hold of one, then he moves to another, the very next min, the calls the min he leaves his house. what he used to do with me. its shows how much he suffers from low self esteem....and needs his ego is stroked. Let them do it, I am done, still today is a tough one.
I am looking forward to the weeks to come, it can only get better. I have literally prayed this man off of me. I want him gone, and I want to prepared when he comes fishing. do we ignore a fish, what if we have a brief venting statement? I dont think he will come soon......i bet i should just ignore. I am sure some vet will let me know. I am hurting but it has gotten a bit better, mornings are so tough
so so tough, it has to get easier.,,,it has to soon. guess i need not worry about him fishing.
relieved i am not exposing myself to that pain anymore by looking at those records/emails, it did not allow me to move on, not really anyway. so does no contact start today?
Caribu79,
I am not one for entering into emotional encounters lightly. I took my time with this one, easing in to it; keeping it light and fun. She of course wanted more, pushed for more, demanded more. I remember the day, (literally), I lost control. My friend begged me to get out at that point. He warned me that it could only end badly, for me. I was too convinced that her "pledging eternal love wouldn't change line", was the