Needed to share my thoughts

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Needed to share my thoughts
2
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 4:11pm
How can something that once felt so good turn into something so horrible and so painful? For years, I've struggled with guilt. Once, I divorced my ex-husband, I expected ex-MM to take the guilt away, by divorcing his wife, marrying me, and things would be "right". I was so tired of wearing that scarlet letter "A".

When I ended it with ex-MM, that was my last and final attempt to get rid of the guilt. I wanted to make things "right". I want him to know, how much I love him. But, I just couldn't live with things the way they were. Things had gotten so ugly in our relationship. Everything was a tic, for a tac. Doing spiteful things to get even. A battle of the wills/egos. Well, he did this, so, I'm going to do this to him. I didn't feel like he loved me enough to go through the necessary painful steps to fix things. Why put myself through this pain of making things better, and he is still lying to me. You don't lie to someone you love. Basically "we" turned our love into a "game". I feel like we have both lost.

At this moment, I miss talking to him. I want to call him so bad. UGH!!!!!

Would it be so bad to swallow my pride and call him? Yes, it would be. He would always think of me as a push-over. It would make me think less of myself. It's hard, but I've got to stick it out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 4:20pm
Talk to me girlfriend. My exOMM has been sending me sexy texts all afternoon. He's now proposing that if we "get together" he won't tell me he loves me or mention any of that commitment crap. He's just wants to "do the deed." UGH!!!!! It's been a long week, I'm tired, I miss him, and he's not playing fair now. I won't call mine if you don't call yours. Deal??

Happy birthday. Heck with him if he doesn't call with his wishes. Love and hugs, Maureen

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 4:59pm
DEAL!!!!

We'll get through this.....