Needing to close the door completely

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Needing to close the door completely
2
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 12:38pm
Hello to you all it's been a while since I last posted. I must say this whole thing has gotten so much easier for me. I barley think of ex-MM anymore.

I was totally NC with ex-MM for about 1 1/2 months. A couple of weeks ago he called. He asked me if I had time to talk, and I said yes. I was very glad that we talked, because he cleared up somethings for me, and I got some answers that I really needed.

BUT!!! after talking to ex-MM, I know that I don't want to have a relationship with him right now. For starters he is still married (he said he filed for divorce, but I don't believe him). Now, that we have mended some parts of the fence, he is ready to jump back into this EMA. There's no way, I'm about to do that. All the things that I tried to get him to do when we were together, now all of a sudden they are important to him. He has totally bent over backwards to "whoo" me. I don't want to be "whoo'd".

I need to let him know that I'm not interested. Life has been so good for me since we talked and I was able to close that door. Days had gone by and I hadn't even thought about him, until he called me this morning.

How am I going to close that door completely?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 4:50pm
Somebody once told me "a leopard can't change it's spots." I guess that was in reference to my husband and the promises he felt he had to make to calm my restless spirit.

I have spent so much of the past six months dissecting my every emotion, every feeling, every thought. Since I've started NC I find myself breathing a sigh of relief for that to be over with. I find myself looking around and thinking "Damn I missed out on a lot in my every day life." Perhaps you feel that same way and that just might be enough to keep you where you want to be. Enjoy this very instant for you, not for him, or for what could have been, or what could be.

elf

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 8:51pm
Hey Luver

You close that door by haveing the courage to tell him bluntly in know uncertain terms that you never want to here from him again period.

Were it comes to this claim of divorce believe it only if you see the decree with both the signatures of him and his xwife on it other wise it is more bull.

F