New to this and head spinning

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
New to this and head spinning
3
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 6:17pm

Hi-


I'm new to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2010
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 7:27pm

Hi Jimmy


You sound very similar to my MM. So maybe i can try and give you a MW perspective...


Due to the very validation issues you mention, i was always reluctant to be the one to finish our A, his M was bad enough and i couldnt do it to him- care for him too much

Life is too Short ... A. since Mar 29th 2009

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 8:02pm

Jimmy,
Welcome to the board. Are you ending the A or just thinking about it?

Ego stroking and validation seems to be the glue that binds in most of the As. I, too, had an 18mo. EMA with MM. The validation of having this beautiful, desirable man in my life was like heroin -- so, I get where you're coming from. The question now is, where do you want to go? I don't know many heroin addicts who are happy; the same goes for A-havers. The price you pay for the fix you're getting from your AP is too high.

Please keep reading and posting. There is a better way to be and I hope you'll allow yourself to get there.

Best,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 8:43am
happy, I loved your answer (it made me happy!). Yes I'm in a similar situation, heads held high, mutual respect (no real regrets). Sometimes you just have to know it can't go any further and let go with grace. Just had an ironic exchange with XAP about Velentine's day. No flirting, no strokes. I know its not NC but its not an A. Letting go with smiles and even laughter - It wont work for many but it might work for us.