New to board...My story, please help
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| Thu, 03-03-2005 - 8:59pm |
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I am new to this board. I am struggling and happy to have a place to talk. I have kept to myself for so long. I am married. Have been for almost 8 years. My marriage has always been rocky. Some good times, but mostly bad. The man I am involved with is also married. He is also my MM's ex-coworker and friend. He and my husband were friends, he would come over and hang out. When I first met him he was not married. He had two children, as do I. My husband's job relocated him and he and the guy lost contact over some time. I never even looked at him other than as a friend of my husbands. I ran into him one night with some friends. I went to him and said hello. I was hoping he did not tell my husband he saw me out. That evening, mm confessed that he had always liked me and he stopped coming around becuase he was really attracted to me and he even told me what I had on the first day he saw me. He also told me he felt bad and just chose to stay away. I was blown away and completely surpised. I was also flattered. I was at a real low point at that time, so it was good to hear. I am an atty. and he told me that he was divorcing his wife. He told me he was in the process or who was getting what. He asked me for some legal help. That was how the whole thing began. He would ask me questions and we would talk on the phone. I would help w/things and then things progressed. It has been 2 years now and I have tried to let go. He never left his wife and the minute she even thought of me, she became pregnant. He lied to me for fear of hurting me and he says she uses the children to keep him there. Deep down I think otherwise. I do believe he is unhappy but I know he will not leave three young boys. I stopped communicating with him for 6 months. Then just recently we started seeing eachother again. I told myself I could handle it and that I could control my emotions. I am wrong. I love this man. His wife harassed me for some time. I guess one would say rightfully so. I never admit to anything. Just talking. She now knows nothing about us. She thinks I ended our so called "friendship" months ago. And we had for minute. As far as my situation, I am seeking a divorce and have made plans to get a new place for the kids and myself. I would be miserable anway. I am not leaving my husband with hopes of being with the MM. I know that is unrealistic. I have to really tried to let him go. But for some reason, it has been really difficult. I am just looking for feedback. I am really tired of hurting. Please help.
