First of all Welcome. I'm glad you found us and are sharing your story. I am Angie, had a 7 year A with my boss that ended three years ago.
Now that I've introduced myself, I have some strong words for you.....
Please DO NOT let your child meet this man. An affair robs us of our dignity, we lose our self-respect and we lose sight of what's really important in life. Our focus becomes "how do I get or keep this AP's love". Actually focus is too mild a word...it becomes our obsession. But DO NOT drag your child into this mess. Your AP sounds like he has some disturbing abusive traits, and instead of offering to let him meet your child, you should be making sure she stays as far away as possible! Don't offer her as a crumb to him to see if he bites. If he says he doens't want to share you , BELIEVE HIM.