New here.

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
New here.
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 9:53pm


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
In reply to:
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 10:38pm
Hi New, Sorry you are in such a hard place. You have a lot of conflicting wishes, and will need to both look back at how you got here as well as decide where you want to be. Do you want to end contact with AP? It will be the best way out, not without its growing pains, but will be in a positive direction, and is what this board will support. If you can't decide, consider that most good decisions are made with the fewest distractions. if you need to sort things out let AP go for a bit- it sounds like he's wrapped up in his own world anyway. Your most immediate attention should be for you, your daughter, and spouse. Distance is such a good clarifier! You know we all love NC, just because it is a fast(er) track to figuring things out.

Good luck, please keep posting whenever -we're here -

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011
In reply to:
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 11:20pm

First of all Welcome.  I'm glad you found us and are sharing your story.  I am Angie, had a 7 year A with my boss that ended three years ago.  

Now that I've introduced myself, I have some strong words for you.....

Please DO NOT let your child meet this man.  An affair robs us of our dignity, we lose our self-respect and we lose sight of what's really important in life.  Our focus becomes "how do I get or keep this AP's love".  Actually focus is too mild a becomes our obsession.  But DO NOT drag your child into this mess.  Your AP sounds like he has some disturbing abusive traits, and instead of offering to let him meet your child, you should be making sure she stays as far away as possible!  Don't offer her as a crumb to him to see if he bites.  If he says he doens't want to share you , BELIEVE HIM.


Formerly heartacheafter7years