New here

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
New here
8
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 9:40am

HI.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
In reply to: daisyway3
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 9:44am
Hi daisy big (((hug))) I'm to new to have any good advice but I'm right there with you just keep reading it's the very post here on this board that made me strong enough to begin nc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
In reply to: daisyway3
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 9:49am

Thank you so much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
In reply to: daisyway3
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 10:01am

HI Daisy,

Huge hugs to you for what you are feeling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
In reply to: daisyway3
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 10:15am

HI Daisy-

I'm so sorry for the pain you are in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
In reply to: daisyway3
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 10:21am

Welcome Daisy,

I truly hope that you will stay with us - but I want to offer you a bit of a warning okay? What was said to you on the other board was not tough - just really tough to hear. We won't offer you rainbows and butterflies (not that you want that), but if you are really wanting to end, we will hold your hand in ending, but not collude with victim thinking. You were being encouraged to sieze you power instead of defering to (x)AP to lead your life for you.

YOU have got to take total and utter responsibility for your choices, actions and life. WHAT if he hadn't offered a swinging lifestyle? Where would you be? Still in the affair?

It doesn't matter if you believed he loved you, love has NOTHING to do with affairs. Does it seem to fit for you that love can co-exist with manipulation, lies and hiding in shadows?

" After fighting for 2 weeks about it, we have decided to take a break."

So, are you taking a break hoping he will come to his "sense" and give up the swinging thing? Or are you able to see through the fog enough to realize that regardless of what he wants, YOU need to regain your dignity and once again become the mother/partner that your family deserves? Are you wanting to feel at peace, comfort, secure again?

WE believe in YOU ... we have ALL been exactly where you are. I am now 10 months out of my affair, and i COULD not have done it without the reality checks of this board, without taking 100% accountability for the pain I was experiencing, and without the resolve to re-establish myself as a person of substance.

Getting yourself into Therapy was a very wise decision ... I hope one of many to come.

((hugs))

TU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
In reply to: daisyway3
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 12:02pm

Hello Daisy,

Welcome to EAS.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
In reply to: daisyway3
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 12:32pm

I sure hope you are here to stay - the longer you stay in this A, the more difficult it is to get out and the more pain you will endure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
In reply to: daisyway3
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 3:56pm

I want to thank you all for your very wise words.