New here (again)- Intro

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2009
New here (again)- Intro
3
Thu, 08-19-2010 - 9:37pm
Hi. I'll start by saying that I went NC last night. I cheated today by checking his fb page, which I know is counterproductive, but I've had no direct contact with him.
We began our A two years ago. I am married with children. I was (am) friends with his wife, as our children attend school together. It began on fb, really, although I had been told by his W on several occasions before we became "friends" that of all her friends, he was most fond of me and had a crush on me for a long time. Once we became fb friends and he had a peek into my life, and I his, we exchanged messages and things began to heat up. Thus began our affair. It has been extremely difficult, both because it's an AFFAIR and also because I am friends with his wife. I can't tell you how many times we've stopped, restarted, stopped, restarted over two years, but I venture to say dozens. More than dozens...maybe more like 50. It's been tempestuous. I love him, I just don't think I can ever get what I need from him, and after all this time I still have suspicions that he is wooing other women, old friends, especially on facebook. I am still friends with his wife, one of my children is friends with one of their children, so there's the possibility that I might run into him sometime, but it's not likely. I used to hang out with his wife, but I've pulled back and stopped that. I'm trying to distance myself as much as possible from their family. We are lucky we were never caught, considering our family ties. There are so many reasons why I had to end it, but this time is the one that will stick. I know it, and that's why I'm here...because I no longer have the false hope that we will ever be happy together, that anything will ever work out. I think he knows it, too, because he hasn't contacted me. There's the background. I'm hurting very, very much today, and I know it will get worse for the next few weeks, so I plan on visiting here often. Thanks for listening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 5:35am

Hi S1....what is smoted?


Welcome, you have come to the right place,

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 7:11am

Hi Smoted,


<<I used to hang out with his wife, but I've pulled back and stopped that. I'm trying to distance myself as much as possible from their family.>>


Distancing yourself from XMM's W and family is a very wise decision. Not only will you be

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 8:48am

Welcome Smoted- It sounds like you are thinking very clearly and understand that you must end your A. That's the first step! And coming here is the next step. If you've read here before you know that you are in for a roller coaster ride for the next few weeks/months, but it is a ride that is taking you closer to healing... versus the roller coaster ride that never ends inside an A. We will support you as much as you need in the days to come.


Hugs,


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/