New Here and Scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2005
New Here and Scared
3
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 10:01am

Well I am new here, kinda ran across this board looking for some advice on what I should do in my current situation. I guess I will start with explaning my situation, I am seperated from my husband, have been moved out for about a month and a half. Well I started seeing this guy that I worked with, started hanging as friends and well of course one thing led to another and bam, we were all involoved in what I guess you could call a relationship, and this has been going on for about 6 months. Well he is married, and at the time his wife was pregnant, and they had lots of problems. The jist of it was she cheated on him and was not even sure if the baby was going to be his or not. Anyhow, she had the baby about 2 weeks ago, and of course it is his. And I am not really sure how I am feeling these days, he is still sneaking around behind her back to see me, "staying late at work, etc.", but I know that they will eventually work things out, he is a religous person and belives in the bonds of marriage, so he will never leave her. So I kinda feel like I am never going to go anywhere with this, other then be completly destroyed in the end. I already feel the effects of it. I am just so in love with him, and could honestly say that I think we are soul mates, and he tells me he feels the same. I just don't know what I should do. Anyone have any words of wisdom???

Thanks,
Sleepless

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 10:12am

Welcome! First off, this is not meant as sarcasm. I am seriously pondering how it is OK for this man to committ adultery, yet it is a sin to leave his marriage? Sounds like an excuse to me. It's a shame that your first experience at a serious relationship since your separation has to be such a conflicting one. Since you are questioning the validity of your relationship, it may be a good time to explre why you are there. Read the posts on this board. You will see how many thought they had met their soul mates and ended up hurt, confused and abandoned. I think you should take some time to recover from your separation. It's not wise to be in any serious relationship, nonetheless one with a MM.

I hope you will read the posts on this board. keep in mind that you are the RULE not the EXCEPTION. Some of the stories are heartbreaking. A lot of us are really struggling to get through each day. IF you are pondering leaving the realtionship, best done sooner than later.

We are here for you. Please post often. It really helps to "talk" about it.

Despr8

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 11:48am

<>>

Excuse me, but NO he isn't (religious) and NO he doesn't (believe in marriage bonds),or he wouldn't be involved in this sordid, illicit, back stabbing betrayal of his wife and new baby. Also, YOU are abetting and abiding, as a willing participant to these deceitful acts.

<<<>>

You are caught up in the addictive feel-goods that these relationships are infamous for. It isn't love, he's not your soulmate. The sneaking around is what induces the highs of this sexual, sensual connection. In time they will begin to wane, because real-life has a way of bringing you back down to earth. The best case scenario is that you spare yourself the CRASH landing, that leaves you broken in itty bitty pieces. It will happen sooner or later.

Words of Wisdom? Tell him it's over. Tell him you can no longer jeopardize his religious convictions, his moral obligations, and his marriage vows. You are an intruder...now it it time to vacate the premises, and work on absolving the wrongs you have committed. If you REALLY LOVE this man, walk away NOW.

Sunny
Sunny
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 10:38pm

Sleepless

LISTEN TO THE FIRST 2 POSTERS, they have lead out the plain truth in front of your eyes for you to see.

Run like hell away from this two faced Hypocrite.

Free