New here and very sad...
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New here and very sad...
| Tue, 05-25-2004 - 12:21am |
Hi, I am glad I found this board. A little history, I am a 40 yr old single woman, was married 18yrs to highschool sweetheart and divorced 2 yrs ago. I met MM during the end of my divorce proceedings. He was my main support and was there for me when I grieved the end of my marraige, he spent the night with me the day of my official D. Mind you at this time I had no idea he was M. Long story short, it took me a year to find out he was M. But by then I had fallen in love with in. He professed his love and made promises he would leave. 3 times came and went and he was still there. This past Sat night we fought about him still being there.. I told him I would not wait any longer and I had accepted a date. He freaked, he called me horrible names and said I never loved him. The words hurt, and I became angry he would call me those names and also be mad I was going on a date..he had balls if you ask me. As if he had the "Rights" to me. I became so angry as the night went on and thought I would screw his life up as he had done mine.
I called his W and told her everything, she was not as upset as I thought she would be, she told me she knew, just didnt know my name. Actually very polite conversation. She decided to tell thier DS, thier DS is a 30yr old woman who is married herself, not a child.I saw MM tonight he told me it was my fault his DS was not talking to him..and said she hated him. (Most kids say that when mad at thier parents). He blames me, telling me this is why he wanted to handle things his way in his time. he told me we are over.
I called his W and told her everything, she was not as upset as I thought she would be, she told me she knew, just didnt know my name. Actually very polite conversation. She decided to tell thier DS, thier DS is a 30yr old woman who is married herself, not a child.I saw MM tonight he told me it was my fault his DS was not talking to him..and said she hated him. (Most kids say that when mad at thier parents). He blames me, telling me this is why he wanted to handle things his way in his time. he told me we are over.
I dont get it.. I waited for him for 2 yrs. Accepted his lie and still stayed. Why does my heart feel so broken?
Lost soul

Just remember, you knew he was married and yet you overstepped your boundaries by pushing that "revenge" envelope. Innocent people were smeared because of it. Forgive yourself for this, but as far as hurting him....TOUGH! He's a jerk and has been jerking you along long enough.
Good luck,
Madam
"Why does my heart feel so broken?"
Because your heart knows you were deceived and lied to by someone who had no intent on ever legitimizing the relationship with you......
You mentioned it took you almost a year to find out he was married. I think that really says what this man is/was about---deception and blaming others for his own messes.
Your heart will heal---find the strength within yourself to forgive yourself for the relationship and your part in it and move on.
You don't deserve to be treated as you are/were by ex-MM.......you don't deserve lies and deceit in order to have a relationship with anyone.
You deserve truth, respect and kindness......
lost