New here... needing advice and sharing something that helped

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
New here... needing advice and sharing something that helped
21
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 7:10am

Hi all,

I've been lurking for a while and just want to say thanks for everyone who's been sharing all their stories and advice, it's helped me loads. I've been reading and reading and this weekend (sat) i finally sent the email saying i was ending it.

It wan't the first time, but this time i felt different. last time i was distraught, sick, crying -- y'all know the drill. this time i felt strangely calm, relieved and even slightly elated. but it's different today, today is bad. today i feel sick, worried, desperate etc.

i am married, he is single and it's been nearly two years. it was intense at a lot of

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009

Chechi,

Good for you for hanging in.

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010

I completely identify with your posts lillie and chechi, i hope you're both feeling a bit better today. I'm only just a week out but have had a bad couple of days. doing that negotiating stuff myself. was I too demanding? why couldn't I just accept it for what it was. But reading here has helped me see it probably wasn't that much, just mainly in my head. An escape. it didn't help that I got an email from him not actually saying that much, and accepting it, but trying the guilt thing too. Have just been reading endlessly but haven't felt up to posting until now. It's helped so much. I think the fantasy vs reality thread is a great idea too. I might feel up to starting mine tomorrow.

SS

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010

Hi there,

I'm sorry I'm just now getting around to posting a reply. I hope that you are doing well and that you've had a good weekend.

Our stories are very similar in that I am the M one and my xAP was S. I held on tight for almost 4 years. Then the unthinkable happened. Not only did he start seeing someone else, he married her less than 3 months after we broke up and went NC.

I still struggle on a daily basis, I have to consciously remind myself that I am so much better off. I too was probably never going to leave my H. What I had with xAP was a fantasy that I created in my head and would have never worked in real life.

Hang in there sweetie, and if you ever want to talk, feel free to drop me a message.

-Angle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
This is a awesome list LillieAlma.....my, my, my, you have grown so much, believe it or not, i remember when you came to the board...wowzers....you are really on it. So happy to see your progress. I was still a hot mess at your stage....still am on some days. It is so cool to see you how far you have come. Same goes for TU, Bodhi and a host of others. I really missed posting and your post alone pushes me to stay and continue to try to help others and help myself at the same time. It all is worth the hours we spent in front of the computer screen when I read something so clear and on point.
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009

SS,

a week out is HUGE--keep going.

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009

Thank you so much for your kind words, Luvin.

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010

Wow, I'm so touched by all the support everyone has shown me on this board so far.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010

Seeking, I just wanted to welcome you to the board, welcome!

It's great you are a week out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010

Thanks for the welcome Garfy! Just heading into the second week now. It has been really horrible at times but I know it would be worse if I broke. I'm seeing a therapist

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009

Please do send out tips and what T says!

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