new here - will need to end it soon
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| Sun, 09-19-2010 - 12:25pm |
I'm glad to have found this board. I am in the middle of something very confusing and heart wrenching. I am involved with a man I have always been attracted to for many many years. The timing was never right for us in the past - always one or the other with someone else. I know I will need to end it soon and just don't know how in the world I will do this!
My marriage ended last year and he reappeared in my life at that time. He was there to help me. We started to spend a lot of time together. He swept me off my feet and it sure doesn't help that he is incredibly sexy, smart, confident, charismatic and funny. He is very good with women. This time, he needed me too because he is alone for a few years awaiting the return of his wife who is out of the country. He loves her i know. Yet, his messages to me are confusing and contradictory. He tells me he loves me too. When she comes back, I have told him I will not see him again and it will be over. He said we can still be friends and doesn't want me out of his life completely but I know that can never be. It would be too painful for me.
I have dated a fair amount of men in my years but I have never met anyone like him. And even now, I am trying to find someone else. I have tried to forget him, meet someone else, have gone on dates with others but I can't get him off my mind and out of my heart.
We are not certain when she will return but I am trying to do this for me and end it before she does come back. I could really use a distraction to help me but no other man holds my interest long enough.
I suppose I will do the no contact soon. I am very scared of that though.

Seeking,
I would love to welcome you to endings, but first you will have to commit to your ending. Yes, the concept of NC can be very frightening, but it is the only way you are ever going to be able to let this man go. It doesn't matter how good looking, understanding, and somewhat available he is right now because he's still a M man. If you can't end this for you, then end it for his W. She does not deserve having another woman lapping up pretty words and affection from her H. You said he is good with women...well, my guess is that you are not the only woman he's been doting his attention on in his W's absence.
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These are just words, honey. It takes action to make things happen, and there is no reason why you should be waiting for her return. If you are freezing at the thought of breaking
~Iddy~
Why wait to end it? Her being present or not should not be a decision factor for you....and what Iddy said is totally true. Words, just words. Love does not hide nor does it ask you to be the OW cuz their wife is out of town. I do realize how painful and scary NC is, but it is the only proven way for you to move on and take your life back. Only way to make you whole. You do not sound all that happy anyway. You could get over him and dealing with MM are unlike dealing with single guys..this may be why you believe they do not hold your attention. MM are addictions and give you crumbs of attention from time to time...why do you want or why do you suppose you are more attracted to the MM? What in you provokes this. Some things to think about....I hope you end this soon and start to get out of the place you are in now, its ugly no matter how charming you think he is.....
wish you the best, really.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida